Switzerland Travel Community? Join

Switzerland Travel Community: Chur Tourism Home Browse: -- ---Destination--- Adelboden Airolo Aletsch Andermatt Anzre Appenzellerland Arosa Ascona Bad Ragaz Baden Basel Belinzona Bern Berner Oberland Bettmeralp Biel Braunwald Brienz-Meiringen Brig Brissago Celerina Centovalli Charmey Chteau-d'Oex Chur Crans-Montana Davos Disentis-Sedrun Einsiendeln Emmental Engelberg Estavayer-le-Lac Flims Laax Falera Fribourg Geneva Gimmelwald Glarus Grchen Grindelwald Gruyres Gstaad Interlaken Jungfrau Region Kandersteg Klosters La Chaux-de-Fonds Lago Maggiore Lausanne Lauterbrunnen Lenzerheide-Valbella Les Diablerets Leuk Leukerbaad Leysin Liestal Locarno Ltschberg Lucerne Lugano Martigny Mendrisio Montreux Morges Mount Pilatus Mt. Rigi Murren Murten Nendaz Neuchatel Nyon Pays du Grand-St-Bernard Pontresina Rapperswil Rheinfelden Riederalp Romont Saanen Saas-Fee Sainte-Croix Samedan Samnaun San Bernardino Sntis Savognin Schaffhausen Schwyz Scuol Sierre Sils-maria Silvaplana Sion Soglio Solothurn Splgen St. Gallen St. Moritz Thun Thurgau Thusis Ticino Toggenburg Torgon Vaduz Val de Illiez Verbier Villars Visp Region Weggis Wengen Winterthur Yverdon Zermatt Zug Zurich ---Region--- Basel Bernese Oberland Central Switzerland Eastern Switzerland/Liechtenstein Fribourg Geneva Graubnden Lake Geneva (Vaud) Neuchtel / Jura / Jura Bernois Schweizer Mittelland Ticino Valais Zurich Switzerland Game Log in Email Address: Password: Remember Me Problems logging in? Not a Member? What is the Switzerland Travel Community? Join the community to discover Switzerland through firsthand travel reviews and photos, to meet other Swiss travelers, earn valuable rewards, and much more! Switzerland > Chur Journal Name: Chur - A Profile of Swiss History Member Name: Sierra (Register or Login to see this member's profile!) Type of Trip: Business Date Created: 10/13/2005 Description: Chur is the gateway town for the Graubnden canton in the eastern region of Switzerland. The city is over 5,000 years old - the oldest town north of the Alps - and has many spas in the area. Entry Category Member Recommendation Content Rating Chur - A Profile of Swiss History Overview N/A Comfort Hotel Post Chur Lodging Highly Recommended The Giger Bar Bars and Pubs Recommended Brgger-Parpan Specialty Shops Recommended Merz Bakery & Caf Dining Very Highly Recommended Romantik Hotel Stern Dining Very Highly Recommended Schlosshotel Adler Dining Very Highly Recommended The wines of Schloss Reichenau Experiences N/A has photos Community Chur Members Who Live in Chur Graubnden Vacation See All Members With Chur Journals Sierra Chur Photos See All Most Recent Chur Journals Chur - A Profile of Swiss History See All Return to Home Information about Swiss Quality Switzerland Tourism : About Us : Privacy Statement

European Vacation - Make

Customize Your European Vacation - Make Your Own Independent Tours  You are here: About > Travel > Europe for Visitors > What to do In Europe > Customize Your European Vacation - Make Your Own Independent Tours Travel Go Europe Essentials European Vacation Planning Map Europe Travel 101 - Before you Go European Distances The Best of Europe European Photo Gallery Articles & Resources Europe Travel Planning What to do In Europe Lodging - Hotels and More European Travel Maps Sex and Nudism Travel Photography Transportation Benelux Countries France Germany Austria Switzerland Greece Italy and Malta Travel Info Scandinavian Travel Spain and Portugal United Kingdom and Ireland Buyer's Guide Before You Buy Top Picks Italy Travel Guidebooks Europe Travel Guidebooks German Travel Guidebooks Product Reviews Forums Help FREE Newsletter Sign Up Now for the Europe for Visitors newsletter! See Online Courses   Search Europe for Visitors Stay up to date! Email to a friend Print this page European Travel Planning Information Europe Travel Planning Directory Europe Travel 101 - Before You Go Off-Season Travel Tips Europoean Destinations Europe's Best Cities Tips on Choosing a European Destination Off The Beaten Track Destinations Recent Discussions Need Help Planning a Trip Accomodation in london Mediteranean Feries Most Popular Europe Map - Distances Between Cities in Western Europe Europe's Best Nudist Beaches Europe Picture Galleries Italy Pictures Europe Travel 101 - Before You Travel to Europe for the Firs... What's Hot Power Adapters Noord-Holland - Delights of North Holland Travel Visiting Pompeii Italy Guidebooks Naples - Getting There Related Topics France for Visitors Greece for Visitors United Kingdom / Ireland for Visitors Eastern Europe for Visitors Italy for Visitors Customize Your European Vacation - Make Your Own Independent Tours Guided Tour Tip From James Martin , Your Guide to Europe for Visitors . FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now! Interested in a private or off beat tour? Here's how to customize your vacation A recent press trip to northern Europe changed my perception of local tourism offices. I, like most folks, make a quick stop at the local tourism office when I arrive at a city, ask for a map and grab whatever other materials look interesting. But Offices of Tourism have changed from the days a single volunteer could pass out maps and phone local hotels for you.Did you know that most Tourism offices have a list of the best, authorized guides of the area? Did you know that you can make arrangements to hire one of these guides to take just your family around to local attractions--and you can specify just the ones you want? Tourism Offices on the Web You can search for the city you're looking for from the search box on this site, and look for the tourism office in the list of links for that European city. If it's not listed, a search on your favorite search engine using the terms "[city] office tourism" will usually narrow the category. From there, look for a link to guided tours. Most tourist offices also offer their own guided tours of a city starting out from the tourist office. If not, find a general email address or telephone number and inquire about hiring a private guide, stating your planned itinerary. You may say something like, "I'll be in your city from July 5-7, and I would like a guided tour for 6 people that centers on art history of the area." This will give the office a good indication of the type of guide you're looking for. It's not likely that every small tourism office will be able to help you on any single request. Guides can be busy, or hard to find. They are likely to be expensive for a smaller number of people. Still, why waste your time seeing things you don't have an interest in? Private Tours and Tour Guides on Europe for Visitors For general tours for specific interests, see our Specialty Travel and Tours Directory where you'll find interesting barge, bike, and walking tours, as well as information on taking a language course or vounteering on a project like an archaeolgical dig or a building renovation. We've also included a small listing of selected custom tours and private guides in Europe , if you're looking for more than a city walking tour. You can book custom tours or hire a private guide from these listings.        Topic Index | Email to a Friend Our Story | Be a Guide | Advertising Info | Work at About | Site Map | Icons | Help User Agreement | Ethics Policy | Patent Info. | Privacy Policy | Kids' Privacy Policy ©2005 About, Inc., A part of the New York Times Company . All rights reserved. Around About New Video iPod - Review POLL: Must-Have Gadgets VIDEO: Portable Gaming VIDEO: Choosing a TV Hugh Hefner's Life What's Hot Power Adapters Noord-Holland - Delights of North Holland Travel Visiting Pompeii Italy Guidebooks Naples - Getting There

Chicago Vacation In Chicago�s

Chicago Vacation - Apartment Chicago Vacation Property Owners Join us VRBO ® is Vacation Rentals by Owner ® Home USA Illinois Chicago Edit Vacation Rentals by Owner Listing #77083 Holiday Apartments in Chicago, Illinois Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Accommodations: Apartment - 2 Bedrooms + Convertible bed(s) - 1 Bath - (Sleeps 4-6) Our home on a quiet tree lined street - Chicago Vacation In Chicago�s Lincoln Park neighborhood, China Doll Country offers three complete self-contained apartment suites with private entrances. Unlike a Bed and Breakfast, there are no shared facilities. Entertainment consisting of premium cable TV, VCR/DVD�s with a library of movies, stereo, and CD player. During nice weather enjoy the deck and private patio. Unit office areas include a computer with MS Office, high-speed cable Internet access, scanner,printer, photocopier, CD writer, and fax machine. For breakfast, help yourself to the variety of coffees, teas, juices, muffins, bagels, cereals, fruit, yogurt, cream cheese, and other fixings. Other amenities include washer and dryer, built in ironing board, and shoe shining equipment. For your trips to the beach, Grant Park, or Ravina concerts, we provide chairs, wheeled cooler, umbrella, and towels. Baby equipment provided. The neighborhood offers a broad range of restaurants, theatres, bars, and live music. Kingston Mines, Chicago Blue, Briar Street Theater, Wrigley Field, Lincoln Park, Lake Michigan, and the beach are within walking distance. Bedroom in Unit 1 - Chicago Vacation Amenities: Phone, Air Conditioning, Cable TV, VCR, Stereo, CD Player, Full Kitchen, Microwave, Dishwasher, Refrigerator, Cooking Utensils provided, Linens provided, Washer & Dryer Pet Friendly Activities (on site or nearby): Golf, Tennis, Fitness Center, Gym, Shopping, Restaurants, Live Theater, Cinemas, Museums, Sailing Rates (in US Dollars): Personal Currency Assistant ™ Credit Cards Accepted: 1 Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 2 Guests) ... $185/night.1 Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 4 Guests) ... $245/night.2 Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 2 Guests) ... $155/night.2 Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 4 Guests) ... $215/night.3+ Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 2 Guests) .. $135/night.3+ Night: 1 bedroom (Up To 4 Guests) .. $185/night.Note: Until confirmed, rates are subject to change without notice. Dining room in Unit 1 - Chicago Vacation Links to more information: Click Here to see All My Rental Listings CLICK HERE - For More Information about China Doll CLICK HERE - For a Property Tour Note: Each property is individually owned or managed. Dates available:  Year Round Phone: (773) 525-4967 (Illinois, USA) or Toll Free: (866) 361-1819 Please say: "I saw your listing #77083 on VRBO" Living Room in Unit 1 Office in Unit 1 Porch Shared by All Units Kitchen in Unit 3 Bedroom in Unit 3 Office in Unit 3 Living Room in Unit 3 Back Yard and Grill Shared by All Kitchen in Unit 1 Home USA Illinois Chicago Edit Vacation Rentals by Owner Listing #77083 There have been 350 visitors to this page since the counter was last reset on December 06, 2005 This listing was first published here on December 06, 2005. Chicago Vacation Date last modified - December 16, 2005 VRBO® is Vacation Rentals by Owner® - The largest and most popular vacation rental site. Specializing in BY OWNER vacation rentals, homes, condos, cabins, villas and apartments ALSO privately owned properties offered thru rental agencies and management companies. To report any problems with this site contact webmaster@vrbo.com URL: http://www.vrbo.com/77083 ©1995-2005 by VRBO International LLC - all rights reserved

European Vacation," was just

feature National Lampoon's European Vacation "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Intro Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy. I'm Professor Joe Bob, and tonight's class is Recreational Geography 207, where we find out whether our first movie, "National Lampoon's European Vacation," was just a good excuse for the stars to go to Europe -- and we can DO that, because we have not only the producer, Matty Simmons, as one of our guest lecturers, but we have the world's most famous expert on travelling all over the world without paying anybody for anything, the one and only Robin Leach. He'll stay with us for this movie and maybe our second one, too, Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in "The Great Outdoors." Now. Speaking of vacations, I want you to remember the one cardinal rule of all professional vacation-goers. [writes on blackboard] "Do Not Structure Your Damn Time." Do you understand what I'm saying here? For example, I have this friend Larry who's as rich as a sitcom star, and so every year at this time he takes one of those European cruises where you drink champagne every night and listen to bad cabaret acts and occasionally get off the boat to look at some Madonnas or sit at a seaside cafe with red-checkered tablecloths where you can guzzle the local vino for thirty bucks a pop. And they have all kinds of "programs" and "seminars" and "athletic activities" on board, so you can learn how to be a real-estate agent or a professional shuffleboard coach or find out who Marcel Proust was. Now here's the interesting part. On his daily schedule of all the "programs" and "seminars" and "cultural activities," there's always a place marked "Free Time." Like there's time that costs money, and then there's FREE TIME. But, no, that can't be what it means, because it ALL costs money on a cruise, whether you CALL it free or not. So what they mean is, there's PRISON time and then there's FREE time. This is when the guy's ON VACATION! This is when he's in the one place in the world where ALL the time is supposed to be free! What's wrong here? When I was a kid, I'd go to these science fairs where they had "labor-saving inventions of the future," and we were all supposed to be working twenty-hour weeks by now. But what happened? We invented all these labor-saving devices, everything got faster, and we have two-thirds LESS "Free Time" than we had twenty years ago. You know why? Because of guys like Larry who CAN'T STAND IT. They go on vacation and they're faced with this endless stretch of "Free Time," and they start to go crazy with guilt and nervousness. There's some great Yuppie Devil God in their gut crying out, "You could have done SEVENTY HOURS of work in the time you spent hanging around the Parthenon and chucking rocks in the Aegean. Your life is MEANINGLESS." And so they have "Free Time." They work just as much as they do when they're back home -- they're getting an education, or they're becoming culturally enlightened, or they're IMPROVING themselves -- and then, after they've done that, they can just barely face that agonizing hour of "Free Time." They can suck down a couple martinis without guilt, though, because they've just read part of a book about Giotto. They can USE that Giotto someday. They'll be talking to that West Coast sales rep who's into European art, and they can just casually mention that magic word -- "Giotto" -- and pretty soon they'll be bosom buddies for life. But tonight we're gonna teach you how to vacation right, by watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation," the follow-up to the comedy classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." "European Vacation" picks up as the Griswalds accidentally win a gameshow and embark on their first trip overseas, where they run people over, trash national monuments and make a general nuisance of themselves. Check it out, and we'll have Robin Leach popping out here to join us. [fading] Robin's gonna be slumming. Instead of doing "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," he'll be doing "Lifestyles of the Hard-Up and Obscure." "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #1 See, isn't this movie helpful as a travel tool? When planning your European vacation, just beat Paul Bartel and his family on "Pig in the Poke"! You know what's NOT a good sign, though? FOUR dream sequences, and the movie's barely 20 minutes old. Okay, let's not dwell on that, because it's time to welcome our first guest-lecturer of the evening, world-traveler extraordinaire, a guy who has been every place via every mode of transportation. The one and only Robin Leach. LEACH: How're you doing? Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School. And all right, so here we are. LEACH: Only two places in the world I haven't been to. Really. What are they? LEACH: I haven't been to Burma, which is now called Myanmar and I haven't been to Papua New Guinea, where in some parts there's still cannibalism practiced. Really? LEACH: I don't want to wind up . . . You won't go there even to sample the cuisine? (LAUGHTER) All right, so here we are watching a movie about a European vacation. I would suppose that you have taken a vacation in Europe so many times that, well, let me ask it this way. The Griswalds -- they just checked into this worst hotel in London. LEACH: The worst. The worst. Have you ever gone out to do like a journalistic piece as part of one of your shows and ended up in some roach-infested nightmare? LEACH: No. It never happens. LEACH: I tell you the only thing that was really surprising to me in all my travels was in Cuba, where I went into a bedroom and I was the only person in the bedroom. But there were eight single beds in the bedroom. I wondered who the other seven friends (LAUGHTER) were going to be for the night. And who showed up? LEACH: No, fortunately nobody. Not even cigar farmers. So that was all right. Or unfortunate. All right. Have you ever . . . LEACH:. . . And the bed I was given was the furthest from the phone. That I never understood. (LAUGHTER) What, you couldn't switch beds? That was against the rules? LEACH: No they wouldnt let me switch beds. Against the rules. Have you ever paid for anything Robin? (LAUGHTER) LEACH: Is that the traditional Joe Freeload question? (LAUGHTER) Of course we've paid as we've gone around the world. Weve done it at a travel agent discount but no, we pay. We have to -- that's the law. Oh, even at the hotels . . . LEACH: Yes. that you're featuring in a show. LEACH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pay. Favorite destination in Europe? LEACH: In Europe, again it would be Italy. Italy? LEACH: Just like the Griswalds wind up there, the most spectacular country is Italy. And so after all your travels, its still good ol' Italy -- probably one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. LEACH: Because they know how to live, those people. They have such a great lust for life. You know, they drink wine. They smoke cigars. They eat pasta. They don't care about anything other than . . . No smoking sections in a restaurant. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: No. None of that stuff. LEACH: This is the la bon vie, as they say in France. Of course most of our audience can only dream about places like that 'cause right now they're planning their trips to Six Flags over Bakersfield. (LAUGHTER) But you probably do those kinds of trips too. Ever do, like, low budget trips? Have you ever done that? LEACH: No. Never. (LAUGHTER) You've never been. LEACH: I dont, I dont . . . Youve probably never been to Six Flags have you? LEACH: Yes, in Dallas. You were there? Okay, the original Six Flags over Texas in Arlington. You went there? LEACH: Yes. How did you like it? LEACH: The roller coaster was great. And I went to the Six Flags in New Jersey with Bob Pittman, who used to run it, and on the Batman and Robin ride. What else would I go on? You've experienced it. But I doubt if you stayed at the Six Flags Inn across the street, did you? LEACH: No. And Motel Six is a strange name to me. (LAUGHTER) All right. Let's return to National Lampoons European Vacation and -- roll the film -- and then we'll talk some more at the next break. By the way, Robin. My eagle eye picked up Playboy Playmate of the Month for 1984 Tricia Lang as the game show hostess at the beginning of the movie. Now, did you ever do any Playmates on Lifestyles? That didn't come out right. Did you ever have any Playmates as Lifestyles guests? LEACH: I want you to try that even one more time. (LAUGHTER) No, but we did feature Hugh Heffner up at The Mansion, so a lot of the attractive, ah, decorations were hanging around. (LAUGHTER) So you went to the king? LEACH: Well, yeah, or the king came to the mountain. I don't know what that is but yeah, it was -- that's a palace. Palace of pleasure. Okay. I can imagine. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #2 I don't mean any disrespect to the late Dana Hill, but she doesn't really seem right for this part. I think it would've worked better with that kinda laid-back prettiness of the original Audrey, Dana Barron. Hey, Robin, did I tell you I'm moving to El Lay? LEACH: No. You like El Lay don't you? LEACH: Yeah. It's one of your favorite places. Can you introduce me to some girls? LEACH: Ah, probably. Okay Robin. LEACH: You won't have a tough time handsome, tall, talented host. (LAUGHTER) Don't bet on that, Robin. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty all right? What are the best party towns in the world? Where can you go if you just really want to tear it up? LEACH: New York is the greatest party town in the world. Really? Right here in the USA. LEACH: Then the nightlife of Paris. Okay. Paris. That's a big one. LEACH: It used to be a great nightlife in Rome, but not so much any more since La Dolce Vita quieted down. Monte Carlo is also good during the summertime in San Tropez. And of course, in America, we have Las Vegas, which is the party city of the entire world. I need to start writing these down. Where can you go if you just want to tear it up and you don't want anybody in your immediate family to know what you did while you were there? LEACH: About four thousand miles away. Four thousand miles away . . . LEACH: Get four thousand away from the nearest family member. (LAUGHING) Yeah. And what, you findwhat city would that be? LEACH: It could be any city. You can have fun and games in any city of the world. Okay. But you know are there some that are kind of like special in, you know, special cities for like that dark, naughty side? LEACH: Paris. Paris is the best? LEACH: I would think so. Okay. LEACH: As you see in this movie when the Griswalds go off to the nightclub, they even find their own child in the Crazy Horse. Right. Well now, see, one reason I trust you, Robin -- even before you were world famous, I would have trusted you because you're English. And I trust the English guys on any kind of issue like this about nightlife, because, well But one thing I do, I make it a rule to never drink with English guys or at least try to drink as much as they drink. (LAUGHTER) Because now we -- now listen, hear me out. Wouldn't you agree, Robin, your countrymen do know how to put away cocktails? (LAUGHTER). And you will drink 37 different kinds of cocktails at dinner and sweet ones and everything and then at two in the morning somebody'll say, But we haven't had an after-dinner liqueur yet! The English like many many, many different kinds. Would you say this is true? LEACH: I would say that's true. Okay. (LAUGHTER) Well, all right, all right. Well keep working on that party list as we return to National Lampoon's European Vacation. Roll it. You know, the trouble with going to those kinds of places is that you can't remember 'em when you get home 'cause somebody told me that. . . LEACH:. . . they don't wish to remember them. Well maybe that's good 'cause . . . ROBIN:. . . explains why there is heavy drinking. I know, I know, 'cause somebody told me one time that they spent three days with me at Mardi Gras in 1985. I don't even remember even going there. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: We've forgot New Orleans. Yeah. Oh. LEACH: The greatest of them all. That's on the list. And it's naughty isn't it? LEACH: I don't how you define that. Oh, ho. Come on, okay? LEACH: There's no such thing as naughty. Oh, okay then I do understand you. (LAUGHTER) The whole list was naughty. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #3 And Chevy Chase takes his famous pratfalls to the extreme and knocks down Stonehenge. Ha ha ha. Lot of the gags in this movie don't really work, do they? LEACH: No, it was the model that didn't work in the movie. That's true. It was kind of cheesy wasn't it? LEACH: Did you notice that as well? Yes, I. . . LEACH: That's a lot of damage for a small English car to do that hardly backed up in reverse. Yes. Okay, Robin, now we're in Paris. First thing . . . LEACH:. . . ooo la la . . . Yes, we were just talking about Paris. Now, first thing that comes to your mind well, first of all, best hotel in Paris? LEACH: Oh, the Ritz. Best restaurant in Paris? LEACH: Um, boy. Well, Taurus would say Maxims, but it would be the new Alain Ducasse restaurant in Paris. Alain Ducasse. Alain Ducasse. Okay. Best place to see naked French girls? LEACH: Ah I would say, go to the Crazy Horse. Really? Still, after all these years . . . LEACH: They change the show every three months so . . . Okay. LEACH: They change the girls every three years. All right. I want to talk about Thailand. LEACH: My favorite country in all the world. Really? LEACH: Yeah. I love Thailand. Is Thailand really all its cracked up to be? You hear so many people . . . LEACH: Nicest people in the world. Yeah. LEACH: The most incredible food. Yeah. LEACH: Wonderful countryside. Wonderful Asian culture. How much does it cost? LEACH: You can get there quite inexpensively. Yeah. LEACH: Depends how you want to do it. If you want to go on a private, you know, G-5, it'll cost a lot of money. But if you want to go as baggage on a boat, it'll cost very little. Yeah (LAUGHTER) but you would never go as baggage on a boat, I mean LEACH: . . . I've only heard about doing those things. (LAUGHTER) The typical trip for you, though, I mean what would it cost for a week? Bangkok? LEACH: It makes a hard man humble. You could do Bangkok on a very, you know, on a grandiose scale of under five thousand for a week. And what does that include? Hotel? Meals? LEACH: Yeah. Everything. LEACH: Not the . . . . . . Okay. LEACH: Not the air transportation. Then Bangkok you could also do much more inexpensively because they have very, very small hotels. And then, of course, if you wanted to go to any of special places that Bangkok is somewhat known for (LAUGHTER). Well that's kind of what I was gettin' at. LEACH: You were getting to the Thai massage. Uh huh. LEACH: Was that what you were getting to? Uh huh. Yeah. LEACH: The two or three girls on a rubber raft. Yeah. LEACH: And the swimming pool? Yeah. I go with that. (LAUGHTER) You can actually stay overnight there. LEACH: I'm told its quite reasonable . . . I would assume. (LAUGHTER) Well, and you could probably stay overnight at those places. LEACH: You can stay for as long as you wish. Oh, so like you just spend seven days there -- you don't even need a hotel room. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: That's one way to look at it. (LAUGHTER) All right. I'm gonna need your home phone number, Robin (LAUGHTER), after this is over. Okay. That was an awfully short segment, so let's get back to the movie. You ever need somebody to do, like, script continuity on your crew or something? LEACH: Are you offering? Location scout. I'll be your (LAUGHTER) location scout. Yes, Im offering. LEACH: You're too tall to go to some of the places we go to. Too tall. LEACH: Yes. Too tall to go to Bangkok? LEACH: No. Not too tall to go there, but there are other places where only the short make it. Really? (LAUGHTER) I don't even want to think about what you're talking about. LEACH: I don't want you to think about what I'm talking about. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #4 Well, that's a first. TNT is famous for holes in the dialogue where the cuss words should go, but I've never seen em bleep the subtitles before. And that scene where the dog jumps off the Eiffel Tower --that's obviously a reference back to the scene in the ORIGINAL "National Lampoon's Vacation" where they forget the dog is tied to the back of the station wagon and they kill the little guy. So this time you THINK the dog is gonna die, but then they go out of their way to show the dog swimming to safety in the river. I mean, why is everything so much SOFTER in this movie? Yeah, it's really not very good, and it was written by John Hughes, the guy who did "Breakfast Club" and all those famous movies in the eighties. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #5 So we KNOW that Audrey misses Jack. We got that. But you probly DON'T know that the guy who just played Fritz, the Bavarian relative, is the German comedy legend "Willy Millowitsch." And you know what cut-ups the Germans are. "Nehmen Sie meine Frau, bitte!" [Naymen-Zee miyna frow, bitta] You know what that means? "Take my wife, please." See, wasn't funny. Anyhow, it's getting crowded here at "Joe Bob's Summer School," we've got so many experts hanging out with us. Robin Leach, the world's most experienced tourist and traveller and . . . could I call you a libertine? AND Matty Simmons, producer of the National Lampoon movies, who for many years published and edited the funniest magazine in American history. Brian McConnachie--funny writer. That sequence where they rush through the Louvre. And then, of course, drinking out of the bedpan --that's always GREAT for laughs. You know what's different about this movie, Matty? There's no goal. In the first one, they had to get to Wally World, but in this one, they're just kinda . . . travelling. I'm sure Robin would agree with me. It's two against one. Did you tell John Hughes his script sucked for that reason? Okay, let's get back to the brilliantly conceived, but less than brilliantly executed, neverthless financially successful, "National Lampoon's European Vacation." Roll it. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #6 Okay, Matty, what's with the extended SHOPPING MONTAGE? The movie's almost OVER. And you're starting a Mafia subplot. What do you have to say for yourself? You know I'm moving to El Lay next week, Matty? I might be able to get you hooked up. As you may know, all our guest-lecturers get a book as a parting gift. We got you this one: it's called "Matador." I figured you could maybe make "National Lampoon's Spanish Vacation." Okay, we're gonna watch the conclusion to "National Lampoon's European Vacation," where we're finally gonna get some plot, believe it or not. So, roll it, and then we'll come back and talk some more to Robin Leach. [fading] Do you think of Chevy Chase as living out YOU on the screen, Matty? "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Outro We just had the entire plot of the movie in the last ten minutes, didn't we? Accompanied by a little late-movie cameo by Moon Unit Zappa as Rusty's girlfriend. I should point out that there was some in-fighting of how they were gonna end that flick. Chevy Chase wanted it to be him sitting in front of the fireplace saying, "It's good to be home." But Matty Simmons pointed out that they were making a COMEDY, and then HE came up with what I think is a pretty funny ending, which is that they're all relieved to be home, and a guy with a camera crew knocks on the door, saying, "You've just won a trip to the Great Wall of China!" And Chevy's really happy, and he turns to the rest of the family, and they're all glaring at him, so he says meekly to the guy, "What's second prize?" But Chevy Chase was so p.o.ed at Matty that he'd ix-nayed HIS idea, that Chevy then ix-nayed Matty's idea, and they had to go with Amy Heckerling, the director's idea, which was the Statue of Liberty thing we just saw. And what do you expect from the director of "Look Who's Talking Too," the only flick we've ever given ZERO stars? © 2000 Turner Network Television. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved. Legal/Privacy Notice about this site. Return to the Archive

Family Vacation

Johnson Family Vacation Johnson Family Vacation Watching Johnson Family Vacation is like watching somebody's vacation videos - there is a feeling of being trapped, stuck at the mercy of whoever is narrating their boring experiences. The difference is that this is a movie, and one can leave the theater. Even better, don't go to the theater in the first place to watch this movie. It's not bad; it's just so derivative and uninspired that it's dull, which is especially disheartening given some of the talent in front of the camera. This is Cedric the Entertainer's ( Barbershop 2: Back in Business , Intolerable Cruelty ) first outing as the star of a film, and it was a serious mistake on his part. He plays Nate Johnson, insurance salesman and family man. The Johnsons are crossing the country from the Los Angeles suburbs to Missouri, site of the Johnson family reunion. Of course, everything that can go wrong along the way does, but that's okay, since everything will be peachy at the end. First, Nate is separated from his wife Dorothy (Vanessa Williams, Shaft , Light It Up ), but oddly enough, she lives literally right down the street. She had career aspirations, and apparently Nate disagreed with them. Still, for their kids, she agrees to go. So Nate, Dorothy, Nikki (Solange Knowles, sister of Beyonce), DJ (Bow Wow, Like Mike , All About the Benjamins ), and little Destiny (Gabby Soleil) pack into Nate's mistakenly tricked out SUV and head off across the county. The nature of the movie is episodic, and for better or worse (WORSE), the script by Todd R. Jones and Earl Richey Jones unfolds this way. Each state brings a new wacky adventure for the family, and they slowly begin bonding along the way. An episodic movie is not inherently bad, but director Christopher Erskin haphazardly strings all the various misadventure together, and then drops any sort of meaningful plot development that is supposed to tie all these things together. Along the way, they pick up a goofy hitchhiker (Shannon Elizabeth, Love Actually , 13 Ghosts ), stop by an Indian reservation, Nate gets stuck naked in a jacuzzi, and other random comedy bits strewn together with no rhyme or reason. The other diversions are so forgettable they aren't even worth mentioning. Waiting at the reunion is Nate's brother Mack (Steve Harvey, You Got Served , Love Don't Cost a Thing ), who is constant competition with Nate for the attention of their mother. He has also won the family of the year award at the reunion for a number of years running. And, Nate's mother doesn't know he is separated. Cedric the Entertainer is a wildly funny comedian. Not here. It feels like Erskin slipped him a sedative, then told him to start performing. The script gives him nothing to work with, and he seems too bored to make an effort to make bland material watchable. Other actors like Williams and Harvey can be appealing, but here Williams is also bland and Harvey is annoying. The Jones' are content to rely on bathroom material to wake up the viewers instead of doing anything memorable. Bow Wow acts like he is trying to hard, and all that Knowles does is bat her eyelashes and roll her eyes in disgust. Maybe the latter is from watching her own movie. Haro Rates It: Pretty Bad. 1 hour, 36 minutes, Rated PG-13 for some sexual references, crude humor and brief drug material. Back to Movies HOME MOVIES MUSIC ADVICE CAREERS ADULT HISTORY CONTACT