Air Travel Handbook: Learn

Amazon.com: Air Courier Bargains: How to Travel World-Wide for Next to Nothing (Air Courier Bargains): Books Your Store Books See All 32 Product Categories Your Account | Cart | Wish List | Help | Advanced Search | Browse Subjects | Bestsellers | The New York Times® Best Sellers | Magazines | Corporate Accounts | Amazon Shorts | Bargain Books | Used Books | Textbooks Search Amazon.com Books Web Search This item is not eligible for Amazon Prime, but over a million other items are. Join Amazon Prime today. Already a member? Sign in . 13 used & new from $4.49 Have one to sell? A9.com users save 1.57% on Amazon. Learn how . Share your own customer images Look inside this book Air Courier Bargains: How to Travel World-Wide for Next to Nothing (Air Courier Bargains) (Paperback) by Kelly Monaghan (3 customer reviews) Availability: Available from these sellers . 13 used & new available from $4.49 Other Editions: List Price: Our Price: Other Offers: Paperback (6th) 25 used & new from $1.69 Customers who bought this book also bought Insider Travel Secrets by Tom Parsons Fly Cheap! by Kelly Monaghan Fly Free, Stay Cheap! by Vicki Mills The Courier Air Travel Handbook: Learn How to Travel Worldwide for Next to Nothing (8th ed) by Mark I. Field You Can Travel Free by Robert William Kirk Explore Similar Items : in Books Editorial Reviews Travel Books Review, November/December 1994 A must-read. No other book provides more information about this subject. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title. Linda Morgan, The Millennium Whole Earth Catalog This entertaining guide lays out the unromantic details of shepherding stuff - usually boring business documents - to exotic places. It's an excellent way to see the world on a shoestring budget. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title. See all Editorial Reviews Product Details Paperback: 217 pages Publisher: Intrepid Traveler; 7th edition (November, 1998) Language: English ISBN: 1887140085 Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.8 x 8.8 inches Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces. Average Customer Review: based on 3 reviews. ( Write a review. ) Amazon.com Sales Rank: Today: #144,231 in Books Yesterday: #177,824 in Books (Publishers and authors: improve your sales ) Other Editions: Paperback (6th) | All Editions Look Inside This Book Browse Sample Pages: Front Cover | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover Citations ( learn more ) 11 books that cite this book: The Best Deals and Steals in San Diego: The Ultimate Consumer Guidebook To San Diego and Environs, 8th Version by Sally R. Garyon page 243 Rick Steves' Europe Through the Back Door 2003: The Travel Skills Handbook for Independent Travelers (Rick Steves' Europe Through the Back Door) by Rick Steveson page 92 The Simple Living Guide by Janet Luhrson page 438 The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczynon page 587 See all 11 books citing this book Customers interested in this title may also be interested in: Sponsored Links: What is this? International Air Travel Discounts up to 60% off published fares on major airline carriers. www.airfarewire.com Bid On Worldwide Travel Find Fantastic Deals With Our Travel Auctions SkyAuction.com World Map Explore satellite images of the world . Download Google Earth - Free earth.google.com Feedback Customer Reviews Average Customer Review: Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers. 33 of 34 people found the following review helpful: Watch out flying aircourier.org , June 5, 2002 Reviewer: One of the things they don't tell you in this book is how fly-by-night some of the air courier companies are. I bought a membership in aircourier.org and it was the worst travel investment I ever made. The customer service is terrible, which actually counts tons when you're trying to arrange a flight. (You might have better luck going through another consolidator, but aircourier.org is really terrible.) The other thing I found after diligently checking the flight lists is that you can often do better these days just by finding cheap web-fare flights yourself on sites like qixo.com, expedia.com, etc.. I was really disappointed by what I thought would be higher discounts. It's often no more than a few dollars (!!) difference for a lot more hassle. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 30 of 33 people found the following review helpful: Not as good as you might think , June 15, 1999 Reviewer: B. Fakhamzadeh "Travelhog" (Delft, Netherlands) - See all my reviews Hailed by reviewers all over the US (according to the book itself), this book definetely does not deliver. Although it is an interesting read, for an hour or so, the bargains it promises can also be gotten when shopping for cheap fairs by your self, at regular discount stores. Not a usefull book. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 17 of 28 people found the following review helpful: The Freelance Air Courier Association recommends this one! , April 14, 1999 Reviewer: We've found this book to be the most complete source of information on air couriers. It lists the most recent air courier companies along with their departure and destination points in a handy easy to read format. We'd recommend this to anyone wanting to explore the discount air courier travel option. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) Listmania! My Favorite Fun Businesses Boo... : A list by Dee Richards Great Personal Advice Books : A list by Brian Keairns "Author of plain... Part-Time Travel Agent : A list by "kvetsh" Create a Listmania! list Look for similar items by category Subjects > Travel > Specialty Travel > Air Travel Look for similar items by subject Air courier service Airlines Costs Travel Air Travel Rates i.e., each book must be in subject 1 AND subject 2 AND ... 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Travel Guide

ViaMichelin : street map, maps, map UK, route finder, route planner, directions, road map, route map Route planner , maps , tourist information , hotels and restaurants Home page Maps Driving directions Traffic Weather The Michelin guides My ViaMichelin Store Hotels | Restaurants | Tourism Advantages | My account | My saved items Help My addresses Address, station... Postcode City, area... EUROPE Search for nearby hotels Help My addresses My addresses Address, station... Postcode City, area... EUROPE Address, station... Postcode City, area... EUROPE Stopovers, options... On the road Lexus RX 400h: the first hybrid 4x4! A concentration of technologies which far from neglects the pleasures of driving. Dodge Nitro: its dynamite! The first compact off-roader from the American marque with the ram logo, the Dodge Nitro has been specially designed for the European market. Yamaha MT-03: a versatile single-cylinder roadster which proves its worth in town and on small winding roads. Also discover the Michelin Airless , a wheel without air for scooters. Tourism and Gastronomy Budapest or how to appreciate the Danube pearl. The capital of Hungary ideally combines the pleasures of art, gastronomic delights and the bathing ritual, a veritable philosophy of well-being. Champagne - a living legend! Our selection invites you to to rediscover the magic of real, fine champagne! Meetings in Spain: business success. Spain's importance as a destination for international meetings has increased notably in recent years. Discover why Spain is synonymous with success in this type of events. New Technology and Mobility Homelink: connecting home and car. It is now possible to open your garage door from a distance without getting out of your car or even opening the window... News Castrol gets the EDGE over the competition! EDGE is our best, made for demanding drivers, who love their machines. Gain free access to the online Michelin guides Save your searches (addresses, maps, route plans...) Register for FREE! NEW! ViaMichelin Navigation X-930 All-in-one portable GPS navigation system 389 € Tungsten E2 Navigation Companion United Kingdom & Ireland Discover all our services on... PDA PND In-car GPS navigation systems ViaMichelin business solutions Business geolocation services: adaptable turnkey website solutions or flexible services integrated into existing business applications Advertise on ViaMichelin.com Choosing your tyres... Which tyres? Advice on your tyres Add ViaMichelin to your Favourites list Help-FAQ | Site map | Configuration | Product registration | Fun & games | Map directory Who are we? | Press area | Privacy policy | Legal notice | Recruitment | Our partners Route planner , maps , tourist information , hotels and restaurants Street map , maps , map UK , route finder , route planner , directions , road map , route map Michelin 2001 - 2005 Franais Espaol Italiano Deutsch

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Expedia.co.uk Travel Book cheap flights, travel, hotels & package holidays Expedia.co.uk Skip Navigation HOME DEALS FLIGHTS HOTELS CARS HOLIDAYS ATTRACTIONS INSURANCE EUROSTAR GUIDES MAPS CORPORATE TRAVEL Welcome - Already a member? Sign in Site Map My Trips My Profile Customer Support Get ideas for your next trip Top 10 Hip Hotels World Cup 2006 Help with Booking Please call 0870 050 0808 Expedia email Best Deals Direct Email Address More info Traveller Tools Bookmark Expedia Arrivals/Departures Flight Timetables Currency Converter World Guide Weather Health & Safety CREATE YOUR PERFECT TRIP Flight Only Hotel Only Car Only Flight + Hotel Flight + Hotel + Car Flight + Car Tailor-make and save! Departing from: Destination: Pick up from: Depart: Pick up: Check-in: Morning Midday Evening Anytime 00:00 01:00 02:00 03:00 04:00 05:00 06:00 07:00 08:00 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 14:00 15:00 16:00 17:00 18:00 19:00 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 Check-out: Going to: Going to: Car class: No Preference Mini-car Economy Compact Midsize Standard Full Size Premium Luxury Return: Drop-off: Morning Midday Evening Anytime 00:00 01:00 02:00 03:00 04:00 05:00 06:00 07:00 08:00 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 14:00 15:00 16:00 17:00 18:00 19:00 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 Adults: (12-64) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 Seniors: (65+) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 Children: (0-11) 0 1 2 3 4 5 Please Note: All drivers must have held a full licence for at least one year and be 25 or older. If the driver is over 65, please call Expedia.co.uk on (0870) 050 0808 Specify ages of children at time of travel. Discounts may be offered to children of certain ages. Child 1: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 Child 2: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 Child 3: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 Child 4: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 Child 5: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 Child 6: -?- 7 8 9 10 11 More flight search options: Premium classes, one way trips, multiple destinations... More hotel search options: Hotel details, multiple rooms... More car search options: Need any special equipment? More flight + hotel search options: Multiple rooms, more destinations... More flight + car search options: More destinations... More flight + hotel + car search options: More destinations... January Sale now on! -- City Breaks from £112 Winter Sun from £111 Ski Deals from £173 Family Holidays from £133 -- Family Deals from £133 Last Minute from £102 World Cup from £199 Discover the World London departures Description from Destination Hotel Holiday Rome £44 £158 North America £34 £342 Caribbean £47 £537 Eastern Europe £42 £109 Far East £23 £435 Mediterranean £35 £116 UK & Ireland £35 £89 from --New York flights £253 Explore World Heritage sites Visit the Great Barrier Reef, the Pyramids of Egypt and more... Regional Departures London departures Holidays from Birmingham £148 Manchester £113 Scotland £111 flights | hotels | hotel chains | holidays | car hire | about expedia.co.uk | site map | affiliates | advertising | jobs | privacy policy | terms of use | international sites | ©2005, Expedia, Inc. All rights reserved travel , and travel guides . preferred partners Expedia, Inc., not responsible for content on external Web sites. Travel US | Travel CA | Voyages CA | Voyages FR | Reisen DE | Reis NL | Viaggio IT | Hotels.com | Travel AU Holidays that include air travel, which you arrange on Expedia.co.uk  are ATOL Protected by the Civil Aviation Authority under ATOL number 5788. ATOL protection extends primarily to customers who book and pay in the United Kingdom. For all pre-arranged holidays bought from Expedia.co.uk, Expedia, Inc acts as an authorised travel agent .

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Reviews of vacations, hotels, resorts, vacation and travel packages - TripAdvisor Unbiased reviews of hotels, resorts and vacations Sign in • Sign up Find Hotels Travelers Trust City: Check-in: Dec Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Check-out: Dec Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Price level: Adults: 1 2 3 4 More options Currency: U.S. Dollar Euro British Pound Canadian Dollar Australian Dollar Swiss Franc Real reviews from real travelers. Like you. The largest site for unbiased travel reviews gives you the real story about hotels, attractions and restaurants around the world. Stories, secrets and special places from people just like you. Search, travel, then share your own experiences. 3,000,000+ unbiased reviews and opinions you can trust Updated every minute, every day by real travelers "Been there, done that" inside information The best deals for your travel dates Search for: Featured Destinations Boston California Cancun Chicago Florida Las Vegas London Maui New York City Orlando Paris Rome Toronto select destination -United States ---- Africa -Botswana -Egypt -Kenya -Mauritius -Morocco -Namibia -Seychelles -South Africa -Tanzania -Tunisia -Zimbabwe ---- Asia -Bhutan -Cambodia -China -India -Indonesia -Japan -Laos -Malaysia -Myanmar -Nepal -Philippines -Singapore -Sri Lanka -Taiwan -Thailand -Vietnam ---- -Canada ---- Caribbean -Antigua -Aruba -Bahamas -Barbados -Bermuda -Bonaire -British Virgin Islands -Cayman Islands -Curacao -Dominica -Dominican Republic -Grenada -Jamaica -Martinique -Puerto Rico -St. Lucia -St. Maarten/St. Martin -Tobago -Trinidad -Turks and Caicos -U.S. Virgin Islands ---- Central America -Belize -Costa Rica -Guatemala -Panama ---- Europe -Andorra -Austria -Belgium -Czech Republic -Denmark -Finland -France -Germany -Greece -Iceland -Ireland -Italy -Luxembourg -Malta -Monaco -Norway -Portugal -Russia -Spain -Sweden -Switzerland -The Netherlands -Turkey -United Kingdom ---- -Mexico ---- Middle East -Israel -Jordan -Saudi Arabia -United Arab Emirates ---- South America -Argentina -Brazil -Chile -Ecuador -Peru -Uruguay -Venezuela ---- South Pacific -American Samoa -Australia -Cook Islands -Federated States of Micronesia -Fiji -French Polynesia -Guam -Kiribati -New Caledonia -New Zealand -Palau -Papua New Guinea -Samoa -Solomon Islands -Tonga -Tuvalu -Vanuatu ---- United States Top Beach Destinations Acapulco Aruba Australia Bahamas Bermuda British Virgin Islands Cancun Dominican Republic Hawaii Jamaica Puerto Rico U.S. Virgin Islands Share Your Photos, Get Free Prints Receive $20 in free prints from Shutterfly® when you post 10 travel photos on TripAdvisor. See offer details . TripAdvisor Forums and Reviews Have a travel question? Ask fellow travelers in the TripAdvisor forums . Share your opinion — write a review . Plan a Trip to Europe Austria Belgium France Germany Greece Ireland Italy Portugal Spain Switzerland The Netherlands United Kingdom More Places: United States • Canada • Caribbean • Mexico • Africa • Asia • Central America • Europe • Middle East • South America • South Pacific Editors' Picks: Vacations and Great Escapes Family vacations Golf vacations Beach vacations Los Angeles London San Francisco Hotels in popular destinations Amsterdam hotels Atlanta hotels Atlantic City hotels Barcelona hotels Boston hotels California hotels Cancun hotels Chicago hotels Dallas hotels Daytona Beach hotels Disneyland - Anaheim hotels Disneyworld - Orlando hotels Dominican Republic hotels Dublin hotels Florence hotels Florida hotels Hawaii hotels Italy hotels Key West hotels Las Vegas hotels London hotels Los Angeles hotels Maui hotels Miami hotels Montreal hotels Myrtle Beach hotels New Orleans hotels New York City hotels Palm Springs hotels Paris hotels Philadelphia hotels Phoenix hotels Puerto Rico hotels Puerto Vallarta hotels Punta Cana hotels Reno hotels Rome hotels San Antonio hotels San Diego hotels San Francisco hotels Seattle hotels Sydney hotels Toronto hotels Vancouver hotels Venice hotels Virginia Beach hotels Washington DC hotels About TripAdvisor TripAdvisor provides recommendations for hotels, resorts, inns, vacations, travel packages, vacation packages, travel guides and lots more. Recommendations for hotels, resorts, inns, vacations, travel packages, travel guides and lots more! Visit TripAdvisor in another language: About Us | Membership | Site Map | Consumer Electronics Info | Become an Affiliate | Top Cities | Hotel Reservations | Hotel Deals | TripAdvisor Gear © 2005 TripAdvisor, Inc. All rights reserved. TripAdvisor Terms of Use and Privacy Policy . * TripAdvisor, Inc. is not a booking agent and does not charge any service fees to users of our site... ( more ) TripAdvisor, Inc. is not responsible for content on external web sites.

European Vacation," was just

feature National Lampoon's European Vacation "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Intro Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy. I'm Professor Joe Bob, and tonight's class is Recreational Geography 207, where we find out whether our first movie, "National Lampoon's European Vacation," was just a good excuse for the stars to go to Europe -- and we can DO that, because we have not only the producer, Matty Simmons, as one of our guest lecturers, but we have the world's most famous expert on travelling all over the world without paying anybody for anything, the one and only Robin Leach. He'll stay with us for this movie and maybe our second one, too, Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in "The Great Outdoors." Now. Speaking of vacations, I want you to remember the one cardinal rule of all professional vacation-goers. [writes on blackboard] "Do Not Structure Your Damn Time." Do you understand what I'm saying here? For example, I have this friend Larry who's as rich as a sitcom star, and so every year at this time he takes one of those European cruises where you drink champagne every night and listen to bad cabaret acts and occasionally get off the boat to look at some Madonnas or sit at a seaside cafe with red-checkered tablecloths where you can guzzle the local vino for thirty bucks a pop. And they have all kinds of "programs" and "seminars" and "athletic activities" on board, so you can learn how to be a real-estate agent or a professional shuffleboard coach or find out who Marcel Proust was. Now here's the interesting part. On his daily schedule of all the "programs" and "seminars" and "cultural activities," there's always a place marked "Free Time." Like there's time that costs money, and then there's FREE TIME. But, no, that can't be what it means, because it ALL costs money on a cruise, whether you CALL it free or not. So what they mean is, there's PRISON time and then there's FREE time. This is when the guy's ON VACATION! This is when he's in the one place in the world where ALL the time is supposed to be free! What's wrong here? When I was a kid, I'd go to these science fairs where they had "labor-saving inventions of the future," and we were all supposed to be working twenty-hour weeks by now. But what happened? We invented all these labor-saving devices, everything got faster, and we have two-thirds LESS "Free Time" than we had twenty years ago. You know why? Because of guys like Larry who CAN'T STAND IT. They go on vacation and they're faced with this endless stretch of "Free Time," and they start to go crazy with guilt and nervousness. There's some great Yuppie Devil God in their gut crying out, "You could have done SEVENTY HOURS of work in the time you spent hanging around the Parthenon and chucking rocks in the Aegean. Your life is MEANINGLESS." And so they have "Free Time." They work just as much as they do when they're back home -- they're getting an education, or they're becoming culturally enlightened, or they're IMPROVING themselves -- and then, after they've done that, they can just barely face that agonizing hour of "Free Time." They can suck down a couple martinis without guilt, though, because they've just read part of a book about Giotto. They can USE that Giotto someday. They'll be talking to that West Coast sales rep who's into European art, and they can just casually mention that magic word -- "Giotto" -- and pretty soon they'll be bosom buddies for life. But tonight we're gonna teach you how to vacation right, by watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation," the follow-up to the comedy classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." "European Vacation" picks up as the Griswalds accidentally win a gameshow and embark on their first trip overseas, where they run people over, trash national monuments and make a general nuisance of themselves. Check it out, and we'll have Robin Leach popping out here to join us. [fading] Robin's gonna be slumming. Instead of doing "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," he'll be doing "Lifestyles of the Hard-Up and Obscure." "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #1 See, isn't this movie helpful as a travel tool? When planning your European vacation, just beat Paul Bartel and his family on "Pig in the Poke"! You know what's NOT a good sign, though? FOUR dream sequences, and the movie's barely 20 minutes old. Okay, let's not dwell on that, because it's time to welcome our first guest-lecturer of the evening, world-traveler extraordinaire, a guy who has been every place via every mode of transportation. The one and only Robin Leach. LEACH: How're you doing? Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School. And all right, so here we are. LEACH: Only two places in the world I haven't been to. Really. What are they? LEACH: I haven't been to Burma, which is now called Myanmar and I haven't been to Papua New Guinea, where in some parts there's still cannibalism practiced. Really? LEACH: I don't want to wind up . . . You won't go there even to sample the cuisine? (LAUGHTER) All right, so here we are watching a movie about a European vacation. I would suppose that you have taken a vacation in Europe so many times that, well, let me ask it this way. The Griswalds -- they just checked into this worst hotel in London. LEACH: The worst. The worst. Have you ever gone out to do like a journalistic piece as part of one of your shows and ended up in some roach-infested nightmare? LEACH: No. It never happens. LEACH: I tell you the only thing that was really surprising to me in all my travels was in Cuba, where I went into a bedroom and I was the only person in the bedroom. But there were eight single beds in the bedroom. I wondered who the other seven friends (LAUGHTER) were going to be for the night. And who showed up? LEACH: No, fortunately nobody. Not even cigar farmers. So that was all right. Or unfortunate. All right. Have you ever . . . LEACH:. . . And the bed I was given was the furthest from the phone. That I never understood. (LAUGHTER) What, you couldn't switch beds? That was against the rules? LEACH: No they wouldnt let me switch beds. Against the rules. Have you ever paid for anything Robin? (LAUGHTER) LEACH: Is that the traditional Joe Freeload question? (LAUGHTER) Of course we've paid as we've gone around the world. Weve done it at a travel agent discount but no, we pay. We have to -- that's the law. Oh, even at the hotels . . . LEACH: Yes. that you're featuring in a show. LEACH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pay. Favorite destination in Europe? LEACH: In Europe, again it would be Italy. Italy? LEACH: Just like the Griswalds wind up there, the most spectacular country is Italy. And so after all your travels, its still good ol' Italy -- probably one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. LEACH: Because they know how to live, those people. They have such a great lust for life. You know, they drink wine. They smoke cigars. They eat pasta. They don't care about anything other than . . . No smoking sections in a restaurant. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: No. None of that stuff. LEACH: This is the la bon vie, as they say in France. Of course most of our audience can only dream about places like that 'cause right now they're planning their trips to Six Flags over Bakersfield. (LAUGHTER) But you probably do those kinds of trips too. Ever do, like, low budget trips? Have you ever done that? LEACH: No. Never. (LAUGHTER) You've never been. LEACH: I dont, I dont . . . Youve probably never been to Six Flags have you? LEACH: Yes, in Dallas. You were there? Okay, the original Six Flags over Texas in Arlington. You went there? LEACH: Yes. How did you like it? LEACH: The roller coaster was great. And I went to the Six Flags in New Jersey with Bob Pittman, who used to run it, and on the Batman and Robin ride. What else would I go on? You've experienced it. But I doubt if you stayed at the Six Flags Inn across the street, did you? LEACH: No. And Motel Six is a strange name to me. (LAUGHTER) All right. Let's return to National Lampoons European Vacation and -- roll the film -- and then we'll talk some more at the next break. By the way, Robin. My eagle eye picked up Playboy Playmate of the Month for 1984 Tricia Lang as the game show hostess at the beginning of the movie. Now, did you ever do any Playmates on Lifestyles? That didn't come out right. Did you ever have any Playmates as Lifestyles guests? LEACH: I want you to try that even one more time. (LAUGHTER) No, but we did feature Hugh Heffner up at The Mansion, so a lot of the attractive, ah, decorations were hanging around. (LAUGHTER) So you went to the king? LEACH: Well, yeah, or the king came to the mountain. I don't know what that is but yeah, it was -- that's a palace. Palace of pleasure. Okay. I can imagine. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #2 I don't mean any disrespect to the late Dana Hill, but she doesn't really seem right for this part. I think it would've worked better with that kinda laid-back prettiness of the original Audrey, Dana Barron. Hey, Robin, did I tell you I'm moving to El Lay? LEACH: No. You like El Lay don't you? LEACH: Yeah. It's one of your favorite places. Can you introduce me to some girls? LEACH: Ah, probably. Okay Robin. LEACH: You won't have a tough time handsome, tall, talented host. (LAUGHTER) Don't bet on that, Robin. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty all right? What are the best party towns in the world? Where can you go if you just really want to tear it up? LEACH: New York is the greatest party town in the world. Really? Right here in the USA. LEACH: Then the nightlife of Paris. Okay. Paris. That's a big one. LEACH: It used to be a great nightlife in Rome, but not so much any more since La Dolce Vita quieted down. Monte Carlo is also good during the summertime in San Tropez. And of course, in America, we have Las Vegas, which is the party city of the entire world. I need to start writing these down. Where can you go if you just want to tear it up and you don't want anybody in your immediate family to know what you did while you were there? LEACH: About four thousand miles away. Four thousand miles away . . . LEACH: Get four thousand away from the nearest family member. (LAUGHING) Yeah. And what, you findwhat city would that be? LEACH: It could be any city. You can have fun and games in any city of the world. Okay. But you know are there some that are kind of like special in, you know, special cities for like that dark, naughty side? LEACH: Paris. Paris is the best? LEACH: I would think so. Okay. LEACH: As you see in this movie when the Griswalds go off to the nightclub, they even find their own child in the Crazy Horse. Right. Well now, see, one reason I trust you, Robin -- even before you were world famous, I would have trusted you because you're English. And I trust the English guys on any kind of issue like this about nightlife, because, well But one thing I do, I make it a rule to never drink with English guys or at least try to drink as much as they drink. (LAUGHTER) Because now we -- now listen, hear me out. Wouldn't you agree, Robin, your countrymen do know how to put away cocktails? (LAUGHTER). And you will drink 37 different kinds of cocktails at dinner and sweet ones and everything and then at two in the morning somebody'll say, But we haven't had an after-dinner liqueur yet! The English like many many, many different kinds. Would you say this is true? LEACH: I would say that's true. Okay. (LAUGHTER) Well, all right, all right. Well keep working on that party list as we return to National Lampoon's European Vacation. Roll it. You know, the trouble with going to those kinds of places is that you can't remember 'em when you get home 'cause somebody told me that. . . LEACH:. . . they don't wish to remember them. Well maybe that's good 'cause . . . ROBIN:. . . explains why there is heavy drinking. I know, I know, 'cause somebody told me one time that they spent three days with me at Mardi Gras in 1985. I don't even remember even going there. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: We've forgot New Orleans. Yeah. Oh. LEACH: The greatest of them all. That's on the list. And it's naughty isn't it? LEACH: I don't how you define that. Oh, ho. Come on, okay? LEACH: There's no such thing as naughty. Oh, okay then I do understand you. (LAUGHTER) The whole list was naughty. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #3 And Chevy Chase takes his famous pratfalls to the extreme and knocks down Stonehenge. Ha ha ha. Lot of the gags in this movie don't really work, do they? LEACH: No, it was the model that didn't work in the movie. That's true. It was kind of cheesy wasn't it? LEACH: Did you notice that as well? Yes, I. . . LEACH: That's a lot of damage for a small English car to do that hardly backed up in reverse. Yes. Okay, Robin, now we're in Paris. First thing . . . LEACH:. . . ooo la la . . . Yes, we were just talking about Paris. Now, first thing that comes to your mind well, first of all, best hotel in Paris? LEACH: Oh, the Ritz. Best restaurant in Paris? LEACH: Um, boy. Well, Taurus would say Maxims, but it would be the new Alain Ducasse restaurant in Paris. Alain Ducasse. Alain Ducasse. Okay. Best place to see naked French girls? LEACH: Ah I would say, go to the Crazy Horse. Really? Still, after all these years . . . LEACH: They change the show every three months so . . . Okay. LEACH: They change the girls every three years. All right. I want to talk about Thailand. LEACH: My favorite country in all the world. Really? LEACH: Yeah. I love Thailand. Is Thailand really all its cracked up to be? You hear so many people . . . LEACH: Nicest people in the world. Yeah. LEACH: The most incredible food. Yeah. LEACH: Wonderful countryside. Wonderful Asian culture. How much does it cost? LEACH: You can get there quite inexpensively. Yeah. LEACH: Depends how you want to do it. If you want to go on a private, you know, G-5, it'll cost a lot of money. But if you want to go as baggage on a boat, it'll cost very little. Yeah (LAUGHTER) but you would never go as baggage on a boat, I mean LEACH: . . . I've only heard about doing those things. (LAUGHTER) The typical trip for you, though, I mean what would it cost for a week? Bangkok? LEACH: It makes a hard man humble. You could do Bangkok on a very, you know, on a grandiose scale of under five thousand for a week. And what does that include? Hotel? Meals? LEACH: Yeah. Everything. LEACH: Not the . . . . . . Okay. LEACH: Not the air transportation. Then Bangkok you could also do much more inexpensively because they have very, very small hotels. And then, of course, if you wanted to go to any of special places that Bangkok is somewhat known for (LAUGHTER). Well that's kind of what I was gettin' at. LEACH: You were getting to the Thai massage. Uh huh. LEACH: Was that what you were getting to? Uh huh. Yeah. LEACH: The two or three girls on a rubber raft. Yeah. LEACH: And the swimming pool? Yeah. I go with that. (LAUGHTER) You can actually stay overnight there. LEACH: I'm told its quite reasonable . . . I would assume. (LAUGHTER) Well, and you could probably stay overnight at those places. LEACH: You can stay for as long as you wish. Oh, so like you just spend seven days there -- you don't even need a hotel room. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: That's one way to look at it. (LAUGHTER) All right. I'm gonna need your home phone number, Robin (LAUGHTER), after this is over. Okay. That was an awfully short segment, so let's get back to the movie. You ever need somebody to do, like, script continuity on your crew or something? LEACH: Are you offering? Location scout. I'll be your (LAUGHTER) location scout. Yes, Im offering. LEACH: You're too tall to go to some of the places we go to. Too tall. LEACH: Yes. Too tall to go to Bangkok? LEACH: No. Not too tall to go there, but there are other places where only the short make it. Really? (LAUGHTER) I don't even want to think about what you're talking about. LEACH: I don't want you to think about what I'm talking about. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #4 Well, that's a first. TNT is famous for holes in the dialogue where the cuss words should go, but I've never seen em bleep the subtitles before. And that scene where the dog jumps off the Eiffel Tower --that's obviously a reference back to the scene in the ORIGINAL "National Lampoon's Vacation" where they forget the dog is tied to the back of the station wagon and they kill the little guy. So this time you THINK the dog is gonna die, but then they go out of their way to show the dog swimming to safety in the river. I mean, why is everything so much SOFTER in this movie? Yeah, it's really not very good, and it was written by John Hughes, the guy who did "Breakfast Club" and all those famous movies in the eighties. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #5 So we KNOW that Audrey misses Jack. We got that. But you probly DON'T know that the guy who just played Fritz, the Bavarian relative, is the German comedy legend "Willy Millowitsch." And you know what cut-ups the Germans are. "Nehmen Sie meine Frau, bitte!" [Naymen-Zee miyna frow, bitta] You know what that means? "Take my wife, please." See, wasn't funny. Anyhow, it's getting crowded here at "Joe Bob's Summer School," we've got so many experts hanging out with us. Robin Leach, the world's most experienced tourist and traveller and . . . could I call you a libertine? AND Matty Simmons, producer of the National Lampoon movies, who for many years published and edited the funniest magazine in American history. Brian McConnachie--funny writer. That sequence where they rush through the Louvre. And then, of course, drinking out of the bedpan --that's always GREAT for laughs. You know what's different about this movie, Matty? There's no goal. In the first one, they had to get to Wally World, but in this one, they're just kinda . . . travelling. I'm sure Robin would agree with me. It's two against one. Did you tell John Hughes his script sucked for that reason? Okay, let's get back to the brilliantly conceived, but less than brilliantly executed, neverthless financially successful, "National Lampoon's European Vacation." Roll it. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #6 Okay, Matty, what's with the extended SHOPPING MONTAGE? The movie's almost OVER. And you're starting a Mafia subplot. What do you have to say for yourself? You know I'm moving to El Lay next week, Matty? I might be able to get you hooked up. As you may know, all our guest-lecturers get a book as a parting gift. We got you this one: it's called "Matador." I figured you could maybe make "National Lampoon's Spanish Vacation." Okay, we're gonna watch the conclusion to "National Lampoon's European Vacation," where we're finally gonna get some plot, believe it or not. So, roll it, and then we'll come back and talk some more to Robin Leach. [fading] Do you think of Chevy Chase as living out YOU on the screen, Matty? "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Outro We just had the entire plot of the movie in the last ten minutes, didn't we? Accompanied by a little late-movie cameo by Moon Unit Zappa as Rusty's girlfriend. I should point out that there was some in-fighting of how they were gonna end that flick. Chevy Chase wanted it to be him sitting in front of the fireplace saying, "It's good to be home." But Matty Simmons pointed out that they were making a COMEDY, and then HE came up with what I think is a pretty funny ending, which is that they're all relieved to be home, and a guy with a camera crew knocks on the door, saying, "You've just won a trip to the Great Wall of China!" And Chevy's really happy, and he turns to the rest of the family, and they're all glaring at him, so he says meekly to the guy, "What's second prize?" But Chevy Chase was so p.o.ed at Matty that he'd ix-nayed HIS idea, that Chevy then ix-nayed Matty's idea, and they had to go with Amy Heckerling, the director's idea, which was the Statue of Liberty thing we just saw. And what do you expect from the director of "Look Who's Talking Too," the only flick we've ever given ZERO stars? © 2000 Turner Network Television. 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