Germany Travel Guide View

Germany Tours | Germany Tour Guide | iExplore.com Keyword Trip Search: Home Trip Finder Travel Guides Community Special Offers Store My iExplore advertisement -- Home Travel Guides Europe Germany Overview Germany Travel Guide View Trips to Germany Europe Overview Browse Germany Photos Germany Questions and Answers Read Germany Journals Find a Germany Travel Buddy Germany Overview Through the turmoil of the 20th century, Germany has emerged as a powerful, confident nation and, with the memory of the wall that divided Berlin into east and west still fresh in the national consciousness, continues to be the driving force towards greater European integration. The German people enjoy a reputation for accuracy, precision and efficiency – words often used to describe their excellent cars – although an equally enduring image is of lederhosen -clad Bavarians hoisting beer steins at Munich’s famous Oktoberfest. Neither of these stereotypes reflects the diversity of Germany’s towns and cities. From romantic Heidelberg, the medieval Nuremberg of Dürer and the Weimar of Goethe and the Bauhaus, to the lively port cities of Bremen and Hamburg, the financial center of Frankfurt and revitalized cities of the former east like Dresden. Overshadowing them all is the cosmopolitan decadence of Berlin, where bureaucrats of the new capital rub shoulders with artists and techno club-goers. The German landscape is similarly varied. In the south, the Alps attract ski-lovers in winter and hiking enthusiasts in summer, who come to explore the scenic lakes and atmospheric castles here and in the Black Forest. Watersports are another summer pastime, and in the north, the island of Rugen with its majestic white cliffs and coastal towns like Wilhelmshaven offer terrific facilities for adventures on the North Sea. Geography The Federal Republic of Germany shares frontiers with Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Denmark, France, Luxembourg, The Netherlands, Poland and Switzerland. The northwest of the country has a coastline on the North Sea with islands known for their health resorts, while the Baltic coastline in the northeast stretches from the Danish to the Polish border. The country is divided into 16 states ( Bundesländer ), including the formerly divided city of Berlin. The landscape is exceedingly varied, with the Rhine, Bavaria and the Black Forest being probably the three most famous features of western Germany. In eastern Germany, the country is lake-studded with undulating lowlands which give way to the hills and mountains of the Lausitzer Bergland, the Saxon Hills in the Elbe Valley and the Erzgebirge, whilst the once divided areas of the Thuringian and Harz ranges in the central part of the country are now whole regions again. River basins extend over a large percentage of the eastern part of Germany, the most important being the Elbe, Saale, Havel, Spree and Oder. Northern Germany includes the states of Lower Saxony (Niedersachsen), Schleswig-Holstein, Mecklenburg-West Pomerania and the city states of Bremen and Hamburg. The western area of the country consists of the Rhineland, the industrial sprawl of the Ruhr, Westphalia (Westfalen), Hesse (Hessen), the Rhineland-Palatinate (Rheinland-Pfalz) and the Saarland. In the southern area of the country are the two largest states, Baden-Württemberg and Bavaria (Bayern), which contain the Black Forest (Schwarzwald), Lake Constance (Bodensee) and the Bavarian Alps. Munich (München), Stuttgart and Nuremberg (Nürnberg) are the major cities. The eastern part of the country is made up of the states of Thuringia, Saxony, Brandenburg, Saxony-Anhalt and Berlin. The major cities in eastern Germany are Dresden, Leipzig, Erfurt, Halle, Potsdam, Schwerin and Rostock. Apart from Leipzig and Rostock, these are also all recently reconstituted state capitals. Sponsored Listings ( Add your listing ) advertisement Advertisement -- advertisement Why iExplore? About Us Advertise Site Map Privacy Policy Travel Agents Contact Us © 2005 Adventure Travel with iExplore --

European Vacation Planning Map

Your European Vacation and the Tumbling Dollar - Should you go this Year?  You are here: About > Travel > Europe for Visitors Travel Go Europe Essentials European Vacation Planning Map Europe Travel 101 - Before you Go European Distances The Best of Europe European Photo Gallery Articles & Resources Europe Travel Planning What to do In Europe Lodging - Hotels and More European Travel Maps Sex and Nudism Travel Photography Transportation Benelux Countries France Germany Austria Switzerland Greece Italy and Malta Travel Info Scandinavian Travel Spain and Portugal United Kingdom and Ireland Buyer's Guide Before You Buy Top Picks Italy Travel Guidebooks Europe Travel Guidebooks German Travel Guidebooks Product Reviews Forums Help FREE Newsletter Sign Up Now for the Europe for Visitors newsletter! See Online Courses   Search Europe for Visitors Your European Vacation and the Tumbling Dollar - Should you go this Year? Europe for Visitors Blog « Villa d'Este - Fabulous Renaissance Gardens and Fountains near Rome | Main | Copenhagen Travel Essentials » February 11, 2004 Your European Vacation and the Tumbling Dollar - Should you go this Year? Today you'll have to shell out a hard-earned buck twenty eight to buy a single Euro. Should you put off taking your European vacation until the dollar bounces back? Does it matter? I've put together a few arguments for traveling this year--including a couple that explain why the exchange rate may not make as much impact on your travel dollar as you think. Besides, you can always be frugal and enjoy your vacation just as much. We have a dozen tips on saving money without sacrificing a whole lot in our article: Saving Money on your European Vacation - 12 Frugal Vacation Tips . Email a Friend Display Latest Headlines Read Archives Advertisement Most Popular Europe Map - Distances Between Cities in Western Europe Europe's Best Nudist Beaches Europe Picture Galleries Italy Pictures Europe Travel 101 - Before You Travel to Europe for the Firs... What's Hot Power Adapters Noord-Holland - Delights of North Holland Travel Visiting Pompeii Italy Guidebooks Naples - Getting There Related Topics France for Visitors Greece for Visitors United Kingdom / Ireland for Visitors Eastern Europe for Visitors Italy for Visitors        Topic Index | Email to a Friend Our Story | Be a Guide | Advertising Info | Work at About | Site Map | Icons | Help User Agreement | Ethics Policy | Patent Info. | Privacy Policy | Kids' Privacy Policy ©2005 About, Inc., A part of the New York Times Company . All rights reserved. Around About New Video iPod - Review POLL: Must-Have Gadgets VIDEO: Portable Gaming VIDEO: Choosing a TV Hugh Hefner's Life What's Hot Power Adapters Noord-Holland - Delights of North Holland Travel Visiting Pompeii Italy Guidebooks Naples - Getting There Headlines Antwerp Pictures Antwerp is a fashion and diamond center for Belgium and... Like to Travel Well? Follow the CIA! I really should have paid attention when the CIA came... Tapas from Cans? Ok, so you wander into one of Barcelona's most celebrated... North Holland: Noah's Ark Redux A pious north Holland businessman took out a 300 000...

Taiwan Travel

IgoUgo: Taiwan Tourism, Things To Do In Taiwan, Taiwan Travel Earn rewards for every review and photo you submit Log in Register Home Destinations Activities Photos Travel Deals Community Web Search -- Search for Advanced Search S E A R C H O P T I O N S search the web only IgoUgo.com Taiwan -- Select a destination -- Alishan Hsin-chu Kaohsiung Taipei Taroko Gorge Wulai Taiwan (general) Browse Destinations: Top Destinations Alishan Lodging , Activities , more Hsin-chu Lodging , Activities , more Kaohsiung Lodging , Activities , more Taipei Lodging , Activities , more Taiwan (general) Lodging , Activities , more Taroko Gorge Lodging , Activities , more Wulai Lodging , Activities , more Marriott Hotel Enjoy stylish luxury hotels with Marriott's new rooms. Book now. www.Marriott.com Taipei Hotel Hotel Photos, Info & Virtual Tours Find the Hotel You Want at Expedia www.Expedia.com Taipei Biz Class $1819 RT Fly from Los Angeles LAX. Major Carrier. Taxes Included. AsiaGoBiz.com Featured Destination: Taipei Overview Lodging Dining Photos Activities Culture Nightlife Meeting Place Featured Member Taipei Photo -- Member Geo Walker writes: Vacation in Taipei, although often overlooked by tourists, can be a wonderful experience (once you adapt to the weather). The city bustles with… read more Write about Taipei and earn GO Points SM ! Taiwan Hotels Discount Book Now your Hotel Room in Taiwan Extra Low Rates Guaranteed ! AsiaRooms.com Taipei Hotel Best Price Guarantee on Cheaptickets Select Hotel Rates. www.CheapTickets.com Experts in Taiwan hotels Big Savings - Discount up to 70%. Quality hotels at wholesale rates. www.xcessasia.com Destinations in Taiwan Destination Total Journals Destination Total Journals Alishan 1 Hsin-chu 1 Kaohsiung 1 Taipei 19 Taroko Gorge 4 Wulai 1 Taiwan (general) 5 Taiwan Photos -- About Us Advertise Contact Us Help/FAQ Partners Playground Press Lounge Sites We Like -- Sites We Like Terms and Conditions 2000-2005 IgoUgo, Inc.

Travel Insurance Travel Tools

Cheap Travel Insurance | Travellerspoint U sername: P assword: R emember Me Car Hire Travel Insurance Airport Parking UK Cheap Accommodation Hotel Bookings Travellerspoint Travel Community Forums Blogs Destinations Accommodation Travel Help Reunions Tools Links Cheap Travel Insurance Travel Tools > Cheap Travel Insurance World Nomads is running a competition until December 31st 2005 with the following great prize valued at over AUD$4,000 for one lucky World Nomad. Click below for details!! Finding a good, but cheap travel insurance policy to suit your needs is one of the hardest stages in planning a trip overseas. Make no mistake though; insuring your trip is a MUST! In an attempt to help you in your research, we have taken the time to highlight one of the best value travel insurance policies available online, that of World Nomads. The policy is global and can be purchased with few restrictions regarding nationalities covered. The prices reflect both the efficiencies of the internet and the level of cover, which has been designed to meet the needs of young, adventurous, long-term travellers. Naturally, it can conveniently be purchased online, and changes and claims too can be made online; especially useful when you are travelling and don't want to wait until return to submit a claim! Recognizing the needs of independent, adventurous travellers the world over, their travel insurance covers your adventure, from bungee jumping in New Zealand to white-water rafting in Nepal or skiing in Colarado. World Nomads' policy also covers items like digital camera's, iPods and computers, items that many a traveller won't leave home without. The World Nomads travel insurance policy is underwritten by Allianz Australia and 24/7 global Emergency Assistance is provided by Mondial Assistance, the largest travel assistance company in the world, with over 35 call centres in 28 countries. We have highlighted some areas of coverage that this policy excels in but you are strongly recommended to read the Full Policy for a better understanding of this travel insurance. Note that prices are quoted in Australian dollars. Cheap Travel Insurance Chart * World Nomads Travel Insurance Medical Expenses AU $5,000,000 Emercency Dental AU $500 Cancellation Costs AU $10,000 Personal Liability AU $2,500,000 Standard Luggage / Personal Effects AU $2,500 AU $5,500 with World Nomads PLUS *** Item Limit AU $250 AU $1000 with World Nomads PLUS *** Excess AU $100 Cost per Year from AU $490 (US $404) ** Cost per Week from AU $74 (US $55) ** Age restrictions up to 65 years Nationality restrictions selected countries Claims procedure online More on the World Nomads Policy Full Policy Wording (PDF) Purchase * this chart serves as an EXAMPLE ONLY and is not legally binding. Please consult the insurers policy to determine exact coverage. ** coverage for travel to USA, Canada and Japan is charged at higher rates. *** World Nomads PLUS comes at an extra cost. There's a lot more to Travellerspoint than cheap travel insurance! Travel Destinations Guide • Budget Accommodation • Cheap Hotels • Youth Hostels • Bed & Breakfasts • Eurail Passes • • Free Travel Blog • Travel Photography • Hotel Reservations • Last Minute Hotels • Round the World Airfares • International SIM Cards © 2002 - 2005 Travellerspoint Travel Community | Contact | FAQ | About | Terms | Site Map

European Vacation," was just

feature National Lampoon's European Vacation "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Intro Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy. I'm Professor Joe Bob, and tonight's class is Recreational Geography 207, where we find out whether our first movie, "National Lampoon's European Vacation," was just a good excuse for the stars to go to Europe -- and we can DO that, because we have not only the producer, Matty Simmons, as one of our guest lecturers, but we have the world's most famous expert on travelling all over the world without paying anybody for anything, the one and only Robin Leach. He'll stay with us for this movie and maybe our second one, too, Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in "The Great Outdoors." Now. Speaking of vacations, I want you to remember the one cardinal rule of all professional vacation-goers. [writes on blackboard] "Do Not Structure Your Damn Time." Do you understand what I'm saying here? For example, I have this friend Larry who's as rich as a sitcom star, and so every year at this time he takes one of those European cruises where you drink champagne every night and listen to bad cabaret acts and occasionally get off the boat to look at some Madonnas or sit at a seaside cafe with red-checkered tablecloths where you can guzzle the local vino for thirty bucks a pop. And they have all kinds of "programs" and "seminars" and "athletic activities" on board, so you can learn how to be a real-estate agent or a professional shuffleboard coach or find out who Marcel Proust was. Now here's the interesting part. On his daily schedule of all the "programs" and "seminars" and "cultural activities," there's always a place marked "Free Time." Like there's time that costs money, and then there's FREE TIME. But, no, that can't be what it means, because it ALL costs money on a cruise, whether you CALL it free or not. So what they mean is, there's PRISON time and then there's FREE time. This is when the guy's ON VACATION! This is when he's in the one place in the world where ALL the time is supposed to be free! What's wrong here? When I was a kid, I'd go to these science fairs where they had "labor-saving inventions of the future," and we were all supposed to be working twenty-hour weeks by now. But what happened? We invented all these labor-saving devices, everything got faster, and we have two-thirds LESS "Free Time" than we had twenty years ago. You know why? Because of guys like Larry who CAN'T STAND IT. They go on vacation and they're faced with this endless stretch of "Free Time," and they start to go crazy with guilt and nervousness. There's some great Yuppie Devil God in their gut crying out, "You could have done SEVENTY HOURS of work in the time you spent hanging around the Parthenon and chucking rocks in the Aegean. Your life is MEANINGLESS." And so they have "Free Time." They work just as much as they do when they're back home -- they're getting an education, or they're becoming culturally enlightened, or they're IMPROVING themselves -- and then, after they've done that, they can just barely face that agonizing hour of "Free Time." They can suck down a couple martinis without guilt, though, because they've just read part of a book about Giotto. They can USE that Giotto someday. They'll be talking to that West Coast sales rep who's into European art, and they can just casually mention that magic word -- "Giotto" -- and pretty soon they'll be bosom buddies for life. But tonight we're gonna teach you how to vacation right, by watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation," the follow-up to the comedy classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." "European Vacation" picks up as the Griswalds accidentally win a gameshow and embark on their first trip overseas, where they run people over, trash national monuments and make a general nuisance of themselves. Check it out, and we'll have Robin Leach popping out here to join us. [fading] Robin's gonna be slumming. Instead of doing "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," he'll be doing "Lifestyles of the Hard-Up and Obscure." "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #1 See, isn't this movie helpful as a travel tool? When planning your European vacation, just beat Paul Bartel and his family on "Pig in the Poke"! You know what's NOT a good sign, though? FOUR dream sequences, and the movie's barely 20 minutes old. Okay, let's not dwell on that, because it's time to welcome our first guest-lecturer of the evening, world-traveler extraordinaire, a guy who has been every place via every mode of transportation. The one and only Robin Leach. LEACH: How're you doing? Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School. And all right, so here we are. LEACH: Only two places in the world I haven't been to. Really. What are they? LEACH: I haven't been to Burma, which is now called Myanmar and I haven't been to Papua New Guinea, where in some parts there's still cannibalism practiced. Really? LEACH: I don't want to wind up . . . You won't go there even to sample the cuisine? (LAUGHTER) All right, so here we are watching a movie about a European vacation. I would suppose that you have taken a vacation in Europe so many times that, well, let me ask it this way. The Griswalds -- they just checked into this worst hotel in London. LEACH: The worst. The worst. Have you ever gone out to do like a journalistic piece as part of one of your shows and ended up in some roach-infested nightmare? LEACH: No. It never happens. LEACH: I tell you the only thing that was really surprising to me in all my travels was in Cuba, where I went into a bedroom and I was the only person in the bedroom. But there were eight single beds in the bedroom. I wondered who the other seven friends (LAUGHTER) were going to be for the night. And who showed up? LEACH: No, fortunately nobody. Not even cigar farmers. So that was all right. Or unfortunate. All right. Have you ever . . . LEACH:. . . And the bed I was given was the furthest from the phone. That I never understood. (LAUGHTER) What, you couldn't switch beds? That was against the rules? LEACH: No they wouldnt let me switch beds. Against the rules. Have you ever paid for anything Robin? (LAUGHTER) LEACH: Is that the traditional Joe Freeload question? (LAUGHTER) Of course we've paid as we've gone around the world. Weve done it at a travel agent discount but no, we pay. We have to -- that's the law. Oh, even at the hotels . . . LEACH: Yes. that you're featuring in a show. LEACH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pay. Favorite destination in Europe? LEACH: In Europe, again it would be Italy. Italy? LEACH: Just like the Griswalds wind up there, the most spectacular country is Italy. And so after all your travels, its still good ol' Italy -- probably one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. LEACH: Because they know how to live, those people. They have such a great lust for life. You know, they drink wine. They smoke cigars. They eat pasta. They don't care about anything other than . . . No smoking sections in a restaurant. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: No. None of that stuff. LEACH: This is the la bon vie, as they say in France. Of course most of our audience can only dream about places like that 'cause right now they're planning their trips to Six Flags over Bakersfield. (LAUGHTER) But you probably do those kinds of trips too. Ever do, like, low budget trips? Have you ever done that? LEACH: No. Never. (LAUGHTER) You've never been. LEACH: I dont, I dont . . . Youve probably never been to Six Flags have you? LEACH: Yes, in Dallas. You were there? Okay, the original Six Flags over Texas in Arlington. You went there? LEACH: Yes. How did you like it? LEACH: The roller coaster was great. And I went to the Six Flags in New Jersey with Bob Pittman, who used to run it, and on the Batman and Robin ride. What else would I go on? You've experienced it. But I doubt if you stayed at the Six Flags Inn across the street, did you? LEACH: No. And Motel Six is a strange name to me. (LAUGHTER) All right. Let's return to National Lampoons European Vacation and -- roll the film -- and then we'll talk some more at the next break. By the way, Robin. My eagle eye picked up Playboy Playmate of the Month for 1984 Tricia Lang as the game show hostess at the beginning of the movie. Now, did you ever do any Playmates on Lifestyles? That didn't come out right. Did you ever have any Playmates as Lifestyles guests? LEACH: I want you to try that even one more time. (LAUGHTER) No, but we did feature Hugh Heffner up at The Mansion, so a lot of the attractive, ah, decorations were hanging around. (LAUGHTER) So you went to the king? LEACH: Well, yeah, or the king came to the mountain. I don't know what that is but yeah, it was -- that's a palace. Palace of pleasure. Okay. I can imagine. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #2 I don't mean any disrespect to the late Dana Hill, but she doesn't really seem right for this part. I think it would've worked better with that kinda laid-back prettiness of the original Audrey, Dana Barron. Hey, Robin, did I tell you I'm moving to El Lay? LEACH: No. You like El Lay don't you? LEACH: Yeah. It's one of your favorite places. Can you introduce me to some girls? LEACH: Ah, probably. Okay Robin. LEACH: You won't have a tough time handsome, tall, talented host. (LAUGHTER) Don't bet on that, Robin. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty all right? What are the best party towns in the world? Where can you go if you just really want to tear it up? LEACH: New York is the greatest party town in the world. Really? Right here in the USA. LEACH: Then the nightlife of Paris. Okay. Paris. That's a big one. LEACH: It used to be a great nightlife in Rome, but not so much any more since La Dolce Vita quieted down. Monte Carlo is also good during the summertime in San Tropez. And of course, in America, we have Las Vegas, which is the party city of the entire world. I need to start writing these down. Where can you go if you just want to tear it up and you don't want anybody in your immediate family to know what you did while you were there? LEACH: About four thousand miles away. Four thousand miles away . . . LEACH: Get four thousand away from the nearest family member. (LAUGHING) Yeah. And what, you findwhat city would that be? LEACH: It could be any city. You can have fun and games in any city of the world. Okay. But you know are there some that are kind of like special in, you know, special cities for like that dark, naughty side? LEACH: Paris. Paris is the best? LEACH: I would think so. Okay. LEACH: As you see in this movie when the Griswalds go off to the nightclub, they even find their own child in the Crazy Horse. Right. Well now, see, one reason I trust you, Robin -- even before you were world famous, I would have trusted you because you're English. And I trust the English guys on any kind of issue like this about nightlife, because, well But one thing I do, I make it a rule to never drink with English guys or at least try to drink as much as they drink. (LAUGHTER) Because now we -- now listen, hear me out. Wouldn't you agree, Robin, your countrymen do know how to put away cocktails? (LAUGHTER). And you will drink 37 different kinds of cocktails at dinner and sweet ones and everything and then at two in the morning somebody'll say, But we haven't had an after-dinner liqueur yet! The English like many many, many different kinds. Would you say this is true? LEACH: I would say that's true. Okay. (LAUGHTER) Well, all right, all right. Well keep working on that party list as we return to National Lampoon's European Vacation. Roll it. You know, the trouble with going to those kinds of places is that you can't remember 'em when you get home 'cause somebody told me that. . . LEACH:. . . they don't wish to remember them. Well maybe that's good 'cause . . . ROBIN:. . . explains why there is heavy drinking. I know, I know, 'cause somebody told me one time that they spent three days with me at Mardi Gras in 1985. I don't even remember even going there. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: We've forgot New Orleans. Yeah. Oh. LEACH: The greatest of them all. That's on the list. And it's naughty isn't it? LEACH: I don't how you define that. Oh, ho. Come on, okay? LEACH: There's no such thing as naughty. Oh, okay then I do understand you. (LAUGHTER) The whole list was naughty. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #3 And Chevy Chase takes his famous pratfalls to the extreme and knocks down Stonehenge. Ha ha ha. Lot of the gags in this movie don't really work, do they? LEACH: No, it was the model that didn't work in the movie. That's true. It was kind of cheesy wasn't it? LEACH: Did you notice that as well? Yes, I. . . LEACH: That's a lot of damage for a small English car to do that hardly backed up in reverse. Yes. Okay, Robin, now we're in Paris. First thing . . . LEACH:. . . ooo la la . . . Yes, we were just talking about Paris. Now, first thing that comes to your mind well, first of all, best hotel in Paris? LEACH: Oh, the Ritz. Best restaurant in Paris? LEACH: Um, boy. Well, Taurus would say Maxims, but it would be the new Alain Ducasse restaurant in Paris. Alain Ducasse. Alain Ducasse. Okay. Best place to see naked French girls? LEACH: Ah I would say, go to the Crazy Horse. Really? Still, after all these years . . . LEACH: They change the show every three months so . . . Okay. LEACH: They change the girls every three years. All right. I want to talk about Thailand. LEACH: My favorite country in all the world. Really? LEACH: Yeah. I love Thailand. Is Thailand really all its cracked up to be? You hear so many people . . . LEACH: Nicest people in the world. Yeah. LEACH: The most incredible food. Yeah. LEACH: Wonderful countryside. Wonderful Asian culture. How much does it cost? LEACH: You can get there quite inexpensively. Yeah. LEACH: Depends how you want to do it. If you want to go on a private, you know, G-5, it'll cost a lot of money. But if you want to go as baggage on a boat, it'll cost very little. Yeah (LAUGHTER) but you would never go as baggage on a boat, I mean LEACH: . . . I've only heard about doing those things. (LAUGHTER) The typical trip for you, though, I mean what would it cost for a week? Bangkok? LEACH: It makes a hard man humble. You could do Bangkok on a very, you know, on a grandiose scale of under five thousand for a week. And what does that include? Hotel? Meals? LEACH: Yeah. Everything. LEACH: Not the . . . . . . Okay. LEACH: Not the air transportation. Then Bangkok you could also do much more inexpensively because they have very, very small hotels. And then, of course, if you wanted to go to any of special places that Bangkok is somewhat known for (LAUGHTER). Well that's kind of what I was gettin' at. LEACH: You were getting to the Thai massage. Uh huh. LEACH: Was that what you were getting to? Uh huh. Yeah. LEACH: The two or three girls on a rubber raft. Yeah. LEACH: And the swimming pool? Yeah. I go with that. (LAUGHTER) You can actually stay overnight there. LEACH: I'm told its quite reasonable . . . I would assume. (LAUGHTER) Well, and you could probably stay overnight at those places. LEACH: You can stay for as long as you wish. Oh, so like you just spend seven days there -- you don't even need a hotel room. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: That's one way to look at it. (LAUGHTER) All right. I'm gonna need your home phone number, Robin (LAUGHTER), after this is over. Okay. That was an awfully short segment, so let's get back to the movie. You ever need somebody to do, like, script continuity on your crew or something? LEACH: Are you offering? Location scout. I'll be your (LAUGHTER) location scout. Yes, Im offering. LEACH: You're too tall to go to some of the places we go to. Too tall. LEACH: Yes. Too tall to go to Bangkok? LEACH: No. Not too tall to go there, but there are other places where only the short make it. Really? (LAUGHTER) I don't even want to think about what you're talking about. LEACH: I don't want you to think about what I'm talking about. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #4 Well, that's a first. TNT is famous for holes in the dialogue where the cuss words should go, but I've never seen em bleep the subtitles before. And that scene where the dog jumps off the Eiffel Tower --that's obviously a reference back to the scene in the ORIGINAL "National Lampoon's Vacation" where they forget the dog is tied to the back of the station wagon and they kill the little guy. So this time you THINK the dog is gonna die, but then they go out of their way to show the dog swimming to safety in the river. I mean, why is everything so much SOFTER in this movie? Yeah, it's really not very good, and it was written by John Hughes, the guy who did "Breakfast Club" and all those famous movies in the eighties. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #5 So we KNOW that Audrey misses Jack. We got that. But you probly DON'T know that the guy who just played Fritz, the Bavarian relative, is the German comedy legend "Willy Millowitsch." And you know what cut-ups the Germans are. "Nehmen Sie meine Frau, bitte!" [Naymen-Zee miyna frow, bitta] You know what that means? "Take my wife, please." See, wasn't funny. Anyhow, it's getting crowded here at "Joe Bob's Summer School," we've got so many experts hanging out with us. Robin Leach, the world's most experienced tourist and traveller and . . . could I call you a libertine? AND Matty Simmons, producer of the National Lampoon movies, who for many years published and edited the funniest magazine in American history. Brian McConnachie--funny writer. That sequence where they rush through the Louvre. And then, of course, drinking out of the bedpan --that's always GREAT for laughs. You know what's different about this movie, Matty? There's no goal. In the first one, they had to get to Wally World, but in this one, they're just kinda . . . travelling. I'm sure Robin would agree with me. It's two against one. Did you tell John Hughes his script sucked for that reason? Okay, let's get back to the brilliantly conceived, but less than brilliantly executed, neverthless financially successful, "National Lampoon's European Vacation." Roll it. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #6 Okay, Matty, what's with the extended SHOPPING MONTAGE? The movie's almost OVER. And you're starting a Mafia subplot. What do you have to say for yourself? You know I'm moving to El Lay next week, Matty? I might be able to get you hooked up. As you may know, all our guest-lecturers get a book as a parting gift. We got you this one: it's called "Matador." I figured you could maybe make "National Lampoon's Spanish Vacation." Okay, we're gonna watch the conclusion to "National Lampoon's European Vacation," where we're finally gonna get some plot, believe it or not. So, roll it, and then we'll come back and talk some more to Robin Leach. [fading] Do you think of Chevy Chase as living out YOU on the screen, Matty? "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Outro We just had the entire plot of the movie in the last ten minutes, didn't we? Accompanied by a little late-movie cameo by Moon Unit Zappa as Rusty's girlfriend. I should point out that there was some in-fighting of how they were gonna end that flick. Chevy Chase wanted it to be him sitting in front of the fireplace saying, "It's good to be home." But Matty Simmons pointed out that they were making a COMEDY, and then HE came up with what I think is a pretty funny ending, which is that they're all relieved to be home, and a guy with a camera crew knocks on the door, saying, "You've just won a trip to the Great Wall of China!" And Chevy's really happy, and he turns to the rest of the family, and they're all glaring at him, so he says meekly to the guy, "What's second prize?" But Chevy Chase was so p.o.ed at Matty that he'd ix-nayed HIS idea, that Chevy then ix-nayed Matty's idea, and they had to go with Amy Heckerling, the director's idea, which was the Statue of Liberty thing we just saw. And what do you expect from the director of "Look Who's Talking Too," the only flick we've ever given ZERO stars? © 2000 Turner Network Television. 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