Austria Travel Guide Austria

Austria Travel Guide : BootsnAll Travel Network Visit other BootsnAll sites: BootBlog | Bali | London | Australia | Written Road | Travel News Daily Home | Ask an Insider | Members Forum Plane Tickets | Youth Hostels | RTW Guide About Us | Advertising | Contact | RSS | Staff First Time Visitor? Home » Europe » Western Europe » Austria Austria Travel Guide Austria Travel Resources Accommodation: Hostels | Hotels Advice: Travel Stories Adventure Trips Airfare to Austria Travel Insurance Books about Austria Travel Blogs Arguably the home of music in Europe, with claims to Mozart (and the namesake liquor!), the Vienna Boys Choir and some of the best symphonies around. Austria also claims a lot of history: read up on how WWI began because of the archduke. BootsnAll Newsletters Sign up for any of BootsnAll's community, regional or deals newsletters. Why should you sign-up? Austria Travel Info Vienna Austria Nutz And Bolts On Sisi\'s Path Austria Nutz and Bolts Austria Things To See And Do Gruenau, Austria - October 1999 Gruenau, Austria - August 1999 Austria Traveller Reports On Sisi's Path Submit your own Austria guide! Discussions Recent Austria Travel Stories Following Street Performers in Vienna - Vienna, Austria Curious about the real lives of street performers, Ira Koplowitz darts on and off trains and around buildings to find out. RTW Honeymoon #6: The Hills are Alive With the Sounds of Salzburg! - Salzburg, Austria to France Monastic breweries in Salzburg, liter beers in Munich, Disney castles, historic Bamberg, Switzerland, Amsterdam and finally to Paris. The Year of Living Differently #12: For Butter or Wurst - Enns, Austria to Witten, Germany While her Europe trip was not turning out terribly exciting, Trisha was happy to be able to catch up in person with friends she'd met on the road. Salzburg International Festival - Salzburg, Austria Salzburg and the Sound of Music are synonymous. Leif Pettersen, however, was fortunate enough to learn more about music when he attended Salzburg's Superbowl of international music. Valiant Vienna - Vienna, Austria Leif Pettersen gives his take on finding a hostel bed, summertime restoration...and Vienna. More Austria Travel Stories » Submit your own Austria story! Home | Email BootsnAll | Become a Member | Top of page Travel Guides, Stories, Information, and Newsletters Africa Travel | Asia Travel | Pacific Travel | Europe Travel | North America Travel | Central America Travel | South America Travel | Middle East Travel Odds'n'Ends | Travel Book Reviews | Insiders | Travel Blogs | Travel Newsletters Around the World Travel Around the World Tickets | Around the World Travel Guide | Cheap International Plane Tickets | Around the World Travel Tips Airport Parking Reservations Philadelphia Airport Parking | Newark Airport Parking | Oakland Airport Parking | San Diego Airport Parking | Phoenix Airport Parking BootsnAll World Adventure Travel Tanzania Safari | Viet Nam Tours | Thailand Tour | China Tours | New Zealand Adventure | Australia Tours Youth Hostels Europe Hostels | New York Hostels | Paris Hostels | London Hostels | Amsterdam Hostels Eurail Eurail Passes | Britrail Passes | Eurail Travel | Eurail Tips Book Tickets, Hostels, Hotels and more anywhere in the world Search for Hotels | Traveler's Toolkit | Plane Tickets | Rent Cars | Search Youth Hostels | Travel Insurance | Learn Languages | Backpacker Tours | Cheap Tickets | Cruise and Vacation Packages | Cheap Hotels | Cheap Vacation Rentals | World Music Downloads | Travel Bookstore BootsnAll Travel Community websites, blogs and About the Company Press Kit | Advertise with us | Internships | TripPlanner Affiliate Partners | Link to Us | Join Us! | Privacy policy | BootBlog | Bali Travel | Australia Travel | BootsnAll TravelBlogs | Travel Writer's Resource | Travel Gear Blog | Eurail Blog | London Blog | BootsnAll Travel: Australia | UK and Europe Travel | Travel News Daily | World Travel Watch BootsnAll in Other Languages Chercher des Auberges De Jeunesse | Ricercare gli Ostelli di Gioventù | Busque para Albergues Juveniles de Juventud | Suchen Sie Jugendherbergen Suchen Sie Hotels --

Air Travel Getting Here

Air Travel to Copper Mountain Ski Resort Skip Navigation Deals Lodging Getting Here Mountain Village Tickets Lessons & Rentals Things To Do Groups and Meetings Real Estate Home > Getting Here > Air Travel Getting Here Air Travel Ground Travel Directions and Maps Skicarpool.com Road Conditions and Alerts Air Travel There are over 100 non-stop flights daily into Denver International Airport. From there, it's just a short 75 mile drive to Copper. Shuttles are available, as well. Use the links below to learn more about Ground Transportation to Copper. Many of our great fares can be booked up to 24 hours prior to departure and do not require a Saturday night stay. Call us today at 888.219.2441 or book online today. Click here for to learn about ground transportation to Copper Click here for maps and directions to Copper Need to Rent Ski or Snowboard Equipment? Looking to purchase Ski or Snowboard Equipment? Home > Getting Here > Air Travel Intrawest Jobs Contact Us Pass/Card Login About Us Media Room Privacy Site Map Send to Friend Print Copper Savers Lodging Choices Copper Savers Book Online Village Map Virtual Tours Reservation Request Brochure Request Air Travel Ground Travel Directions and Maps Skicarpool.com Road Conditions and Alerts Snow Report Mountain Cams Trail Maps Lift & Trail Status Report Grooming Report Weather Forecast Mountain Statistics Galleries, Forums and More Parks, Pipes and Freeride Videos Dining & Nightlife Shopping Maps The Village at Copper Lift Tickets Season Passes Rentals Lesson Selector Kids Seasonal Programs Ski & Ride Tips Over the Hill Gang Burton Learn to Ride Event Calendar Winter Activities Childcare Racing Snow Tubing Hill The Village at Copper Meetings Leisure Groups Weddings

Mexico Travel

Caribbean Travel & Resort Reviews - Debbie's Caribbean Travel Page Caribbean/Mexico Travel & Resort Reviews - Debbie's Caribbean Travel Page Home Contact us Advertise add url Your Local Travel Agent Visit our Travel Forums Links, reviews, photos to help you with your Caribbean vacation planning Resort Maps Caribbean Resort & Travel Links Temperature & Weather print popular Spanish Phrases Caribbean Weddings Traveling with Kids Reviews Caribbean Spas Villas & Apartments Caribbean Tours & Activities Scuba Diving Resort Photos For USA and Canada destinations go to Debbie's Hotel Reviews for the USA & Canada Please send your review to: reviews@debbiescaribbeanresortreviews.com Resort Reviews Anguilla Antigua Aruba Bahamas Barbados Belize Bermuda Bonaire Br. Virgin Islands Cayman Islands Colombia Costa Rica Cuba Curacao Dominica Dominican Rep Grenada Guadeloupe Guatemala Haiti Honduras Jamaica Martinique Mexico Nicaragua Panama Puerto Rico St Barthelemy St Eustatius/Saba St Kitts/Nevis St Lucia St Maarten St Martin St. Vincent & the Grenadines San Andres Trinidad/Tobago Turks/Caicos US Virgin Islands Venezuela Site Map Reviews reflect the opinion of the writer. Disclaimer - Please Read home - advertise add url - contact us National Hurricane Center For information on hurricane damage toMexican Resorts, please go to our Mexico forum Special Reviews from our readers When you see the " little Debbie " icon, you know you have found that extra "Special Review" that makes you say to yourself "I want to stay at that resort!" Azul Hotel & Beach Resort Anand ~ Canada It said that this resort was for people who wanted to chill, relax and enjoy the classy service. They were absolutely right!!! This resort is one of the best ones I have stayed. Its a small cozy resort with ~ 100 rooms. Web Debbie's Caribbean Reviews Villa Rentals & Sales Check out some of these many fine villas for rent or sale. A villa vacation is great for families! Villa Sales & Rentals Joanne's Bahamas Journal December 19 - A few Days befroe Christmas Joanne's husband was transferred to the Four Seasons Hotel, in Great Exuma , Bahamas, as Director of Engineering. Read her Journal and see how she adjusts to her new life. Caribbean Weddings Our Caribbean Wedding Page has info on wedding requirements, fees and wedding stories from our readers. - December 16 Laura celebrated her wedding at the Barcelo Maya Beach Resort in Mexico Caribbean Tours & Activities Read our reviews of Caribbean tours, restaurants, golf and how to explore on your own - all contributed by our readers! Caribbean Tours & Activities Caribbean Spa Reviews We go to spas to be pampered & restore our minds and bodies. With the growing popularity of spas in the Caribbean, we hope the links and reviews will help you choose the spa that is right for you. Caribbean Travel with Kids Read reviews to see what resort offers the best kids programs as well as other activities to make the vaction enjoyable for both parents and children. Recommend our site to a friend Last updated: December 19, 2005 New Reviews Posted To find the most recent reviews posted go to: New Reviews Received & Posted A word about ratings For information on review guidelines and how to write a review, see: "How to write a Review" Please use the reviews posted on these pages as a guide, not as the definitive answer to "should I book this resort". Everyone has different expectations for their holiday. Look at all the reviews for the resort and read between the lines. You should not avoid a resort because of an occasional negative review. Visit our Travel Forums Visit our Travel Forums Join our very active and friendly moderated Travel Forums. Your questions will be answered here as well having the opportunity of meeting some really great people with the same interests as you. Photos & Maps of Resorts Some of our readers have sent us links to their vacation photos. Check our Resort Photo Links Page to view thousands of resort photos from all over the Caribbean. Contribute to our Caribbean Resort Maps collection and e-mail us your resort map. Please put map and name of resort in the subject line. Scuba Diving Planning on scuba dving while in the Caribbean?Our Scuba Diving page has dive reports, scuba links as well as information about the best dive locations for every country. Debbie's own Caribbean Resort Reviews Check out Debbie's Reviews from our most recent trip. We have also vacationed at over 20 other resorts in the Dominican Republic as well as resorts in St. Lucia, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Venezuela & Cuba.

Argentina Travel

Argentina Travel Pictures | Argentina Travel Photos Argentina Travel resources, links and information for Argentina. Click on the thumbnails to read stories and see travel pictures. Book your hotel Book a hotel in Argentina Book a hostel Book Youth hostels in Argentina Fly your way! Book your flight to Argentina online - saving 40% or more! Other countries: Belize Bolivia Brazil Chile Costa Rica Cuba Ecuador El Salvador Guatemala Honduras Netherlands Antilles Nicaragua Panama Paraguay Peru Surinam Trinidad & Tobago Uruguay Venezuela The second largest country in South America, Argentina is also the most European. Buenos Aires is definitely the cultural capital of the country. Otherwise, Argentina has a lot to offer for nature lovers. Stories and pictures: Buenos Aires Perito Moreno Glacier Puente del Inca Puerto Madryn La Boca Useful travel links: Book your hotel in Argentina La Hora online news (Spanish) Weather Lonely Planet Tourist Organization Internet access Buenos Aires Herald (English) Learn Spanish in Buenos Aires Current time in Argentina Accommodation in Buenos Aires Bariloche - Patagonia Argentina Learn Spanish abroad Travelogues for Argentina Currency exchange Many more links on Argentina ! Suggest a site Go directly to: Africa Asia Europe North America Oceania South America Join our mailinglist: If you want to be updated about developments at Around the World in 80 Clicks, subscribe! Your E-mail address: Travel Forum Join others in discussions on South America Also on this site: read and sign the guestbook send us your suggestions ! send this site to a friend read about the background of this site publications on this site meet new friends for travel, dating or just fun! Around the World in 80 Clicks All rights reserved - www.traveladventures.org - 1999-2005 Share your comments

European Vacation," was just

feature National Lampoon's European Vacation "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Intro Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy. I'm Professor Joe Bob, and tonight's class is Recreational Geography 207, where we find out whether our first movie, "National Lampoon's European Vacation," was just a good excuse for the stars to go to Europe -- and we can DO that, because we have not only the producer, Matty Simmons, as one of our guest lecturers, but we have the world's most famous expert on travelling all over the world without paying anybody for anything, the one and only Robin Leach. He'll stay with us for this movie and maybe our second one, too, Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in "The Great Outdoors." Now. Speaking of vacations, I want you to remember the one cardinal rule of all professional vacation-goers. [writes on blackboard] "Do Not Structure Your Damn Time." Do you understand what I'm saying here? For example, I have this friend Larry who's as rich as a sitcom star, and so every year at this time he takes one of those European cruises where you drink champagne every night and listen to bad cabaret acts and occasionally get off the boat to look at some Madonnas or sit at a seaside cafe with red-checkered tablecloths where you can guzzle the local vino for thirty bucks a pop. And they have all kinds of "programs" and "seminars" and "athletic activities" on board, so you can learn how to be a real-estate agent or a professional shuffleboard coach or find out who Marcel Proust was. Now here's the interesting part. On his daily schedule of all the "programs" and "seminars" and "cultural activities," there's always a place marked "Free Time." Like there's time that costs money, and then there's FREE TIME. But, no, that can't be what it means, because it ALL costs money on a cruise, whether you CALL it free or not. So what they mean is, there's PRISON time and then there's FREE time. This is when the guy's ON VACATION! This is when he's in the one place in the world where ALL the time is supposed to be free! What's wrong here? When I was a kid, I'd go to these science fairs where they had "labor-saving inventions of the future," and we were all supposed to be working twenty-hour weeks by now. But what happened? We invented all these labor-saving devices, everything got faster, and we have two-thirds LESS "Free Time" than we had twenty years ago. You know why? Because of guys like Larry who CAN'T STAND IT. They go on vacation and they're faced with this endless stretch of "Free Time," and they start to go crazy with guilt and nervousness. There's some great Yuppie Devil God in their gut crying out, "You could have done SEVENTY HOURS of work in the time you spent hanging around the Parthenon and chucking rocks in the Aegean. Your life is MEANINGLESS." And so they have "Free Time." They work just as much as they do when they're back home -- they're getting an education, or they're becoming culturally enlightened, or they're IMPROVING themselves -- and then, after they've done that, they can just barely face that agonizing hour of "Free Time." They can suck down a couple martinis without guilt, though, because they've just read part of a book about Giotto. They can USE that Giotto someday. They'll be talking to that West Coast sales rep who's into European art, and they can just casually mention that magic word -- "Giotto" -- and pretty soon they'll be bosom buddies for life. But tonight we're gonna teach you how to vacation right, by watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation," the follow-up to the comedy classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." "European Vacation" picks up as the Griswalds accidentally win a gameshow and embark on their first trip overseas, where they run people over, trash national monuments and make a general nuisance of themselves. Check it out, and we'll have Robin Leach popping out here to join us. [fading] Robin's gonna be slumming. Instead of doing "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," he'll be doing "Lifestyles of the Hard-Up and Obscure." "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #1 See, isn't this movie helpful as a travel tool? When planning your European vacation, just beat Paul Bartel and his family on "Pig in the Poke"! You know what's NOT a good sign, though? FOUR dream sequences, and the movie's barely 20 minutes old. Okay, let's not dwell on that, because it's time to welcome our first guest-lecturer of the evening, world-traveler extraordinaire, a guy who has been every place via every mode of transportation. The one and only Robin Leach. LEACH: How're you doing? Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School. And all right, so here we are. LEACH: Only two places in the world I haven't been to. Really. What are they? LEACH: I haven't been to Burma, which is now called Myanmar and I haven't been to Papua New Guinea, where in some parts there's still cannibalism practiced. Really? LEACH: I don't want to wind up . . . You won't go there even to sample the cuisine? (LAUGHTER) All right, so here we are watching a movie about a European vacation. I would suppose that you have taken a vacation in Europe so many times that, well, let me ask it this way. The Griswalds -- they just checked into this worst hotel in London. LEACH: The worst. The worst. Have you ever gone out to do like a journalistic piece as part of one of your shows and ended up in some roach-infested nightmare? LEACH: No. It never happens. LEACH: I tell you the only thing that was really surprising to me in all my travels was in Cuba, where I went into a bedroom and I was the only person in the bedroom. But there were eight single beds in the bedroom. I wondered who the other seven friends (LAUGHTER) were going to be for the night. And who showed up? LEACH: No, fortunately nobody. Not even cigar farmers. So that was all right. Or unfortunate. All right. Have you ever . . . LEACH:. . . And the bed I was given was the furthest from the phone. That I never understood. (LAUGHTER) What, you couldn't switch beds? That was against the rules? LEACH: No they wouldnt let me switch beds. Against the rules. Have you ever paid for anything Robin? (LAUGHTER) LEACH: Is that the traditional Joe Freeload question? (LAUGHTER) Of course we've paid as we've gone around the world. Weve done it at a travel agent discount but no, we pay. We have to -- that's the law. Oh, even at the hotels . . . LEACH: Yes. that you're featuring in a show. LEACH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pay. Favorite destination in Europe? LEACH: In Europe, again it would be Italy. Italy? LEACH: Just like the Griswalds wind up there, the most spectacular country is Italy. And so after all your travels, its still good ol' Italy -- probably one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. LEACH: Because they know how to live, those people. They have such a great lust for life. You know, they drink wine. They smoke cigars. They eat pasta. They don't care about anything other than . . . No smoking sections in a restaurant. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: No. None of that stuff. LEACH: This is the la bon vie, as they say in France. Of course most of our audience can only dream about places like that 'cause right now they're planning their trips to Six Flags over Bakersfield. (LAUGHTER) But you probably do those kinds of trips too. Ever do, like, low budget trips? Have you ever done that? LEACH: No. Never. (LAUGHTER) You've never been. LEACH: I dont, I dont . . . Youve probably never been to Six Flags have you? LEACH: Yes, in Dallas. You were there? Okay, the original Six Flags over Texas in Arlington. You went there? LEACH: Yes. How did you like it? LEACH: The roller coaster was great. And I went to the Six Flags in New Jersey with Bob Pittman, who used to run it, and on the Batman and Robin ride. What else would I go on? You've experienced it. But I doubt if you stayed at the Six Flags Inn across the street, did you? LEACH: No. And Motel Six is a strange name to me. (LAUGHTER) All right. Let's return to National Lampoons European Vacation and -- roll the film -- and then we'll talk some more at the next break. By the way, Robin. My eagle eye picked up Playboy Playmate of the Month for 1984 Tricia Lang as the game show hostess at the beginning of the movie. Now, did you ever do any Playmates on Lifestyles? That didn't come out right. Did you ever have any Playmates as Lifestyles guests? LEACH: I want you to try that even one more time. (LAUGHTER) No, but we did feature Hugh Heffner up at The Mansion, so a lot of the attractive, ah, decorations were hanging around. (LAUGHTER) So you went to the king? LEACH: Well, yeah, or the king came to the mountain. I don't know what that is but yeah, it was -- that's a palace. Palace of pleasure. Okay. I can imagine. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #2 I don't mean any disrespect to the late Dana Hill, but she doesn't really seem right for this part. I think it would've worked better with that kinda laid-back prettiness of the original Audrey, Dana Barron. Hey, Robin, did I tell you I'm moving to El Lay? LEACH: No. You like El Lay don't you? LEACH: Yeah. It's one of your favorite places. Can you introduce me to some girls? LEACH: Ah, probably. Okay Robin. LEACH: You won't have a tough time handsome, tall, talented host. (LAUGHTER) Don't bet on that, Robin. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty all right? What are the best party towns in the world? Where can you go if you just really want to tear it up? LEACH: New York is the greatest party town in the world. Really? Right here in the USA. LEACH: Then the nightlife of Paris. Okay. Paris. That's a big one. LEACH: It used to be a great nightlife in Rome, but not so much any more since La Dolce Vita quieted down. Monte Carlo is also good during the summertime in San Tropez. And of course, in America, we have Las Vegas, which is the party city of the entire world. I need to start writing these down. Where can you go if you just want to tear it up and you don't want anybody in your immediate family to know what you did while you were there? LEACH: About four thousand miles away. Four thousand miles away . . . LEACH: Get four thousand away from the nearest family member. (LAUGHING) Yeah. And what, you findwhat city would that be? LEACH: It could be any city. You can have fun and games in any city of the world. Okay. But you know are there some that are kind of like special in, you know, special cities for like that dark, naughty side? LEACH: Paris. Paris is the best? LEACH: I would think so. Okay. LEACH: As you see in this movie when the Griswalds go off to the nightclub, they even find their own child in the Crazy Horse. Right. Well now, see, one reason I trust you, Robin -- even before you were world famous, I would have trusted you because you're English. And I trust the English guys on any kind of issue like this about nightlife, because, well But one thing I do, I make it a rule to never drink with English guys or at least try to drink as much as they drink. (LAUGHTER) Because now we -- now listen, hear me out. Wouldn't you agree, Robin, your countrymen do know how to put away cocktails? (LAUGHTER). And you will drink 37 different kinds of cocktails at dinner and sweet ones and everything and then at two in the morning somebody'll say, But we haven't had an after-dinner liqueur yet! The English like many many, many different kinds. Would you say this is true? LEACH: I would say that's true. Okay. (LAUGHTER) Well, all right, all right. Well keep working on that party list as we return to National Lampoon's European Vacation. Roll it. You know, the trouble with going to those kinds of places is that you can't remember 'em when you get home 'cause somebody told me that. . . LEACH:. . . they don't wish to remember them. Well maybe that's good 'cause . . . ROBIN:. . . explains why there is heavy drinking. I know, I know, 'cause somebody told me one time that they spent three days with me at Mardi Gras in 1985. I don't even remember even going there. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: We've forgot New Orleans. Yeah. Oh. LEACH: The greatest of them all. That's on the list. And it's naughty isn't it? LEACH: I don't how you define that. Oh, ho. Come on, okay? LEACH: There's no such thing as naughty. Oh, okay then I do understand you. (LAUGHTER) The whole list was naughty. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #3 And Chevy Chase takes his famous pratfalls to the extreme and knocks down Stonehenge. Ha ha ha. Lot of the gags in this movie don't really work, do they? LEACH: No, it was the model that didn't work in the movie. That's true. It was kind of cheesy wasn't it? LEACH: Did you notice that as well? Yes, I. . . LEACH: That's a lot of damage for a small English car to do that hardly backed up in reverse. Yes. Okay, Robin, now we're in Paris. First thing . . . LEACH:. . . ooo la la . . . Yes, we were just talking about Paris. Now, first thing that comes to your mind well, first of all, best hotel in Paris? LEACH: Oh, the Ritz. Best restaurant in Paris? LEACH: Um, boy. Well, Taurus would say Maxims, but it would be the new Alain Ducasse restaurant in Paris. Alain Ducasse. Alain Ducasse. Okay. Best place to see naked French girls? LEACH: Ah I would say, go to the Crazy Horse. Really? Still, after all these years . . . LEACH: They change the show every three months so . . . Okay. LEACH: They change the girls every three years. All right. I want to talk about Thailand. LEACH: My favorite country in all the world. Really? LEACH: Yeah. I love Thailand. Is Thailand really all its cracked up to be? You hear so many people . . . LEACH: Nicest people in the world. Yeah. LEACH: The most incredible food. Yeah. LEACH: Wonderful countryside. Wonderful Asian culture. How much does it cost? LEACH: You can get there quite inexpensively. Yeah. LEACH: Depends how you want to do it. If you want to go on a private, you know, G-5, it'll cost a lot of money. But if you want to go as baggage on a boat, it'll cost very little. Yeah (LAUGHTER) but you would never go as baggage on a boat, I mean LEACH: . . . I've only heard about doing those things. (LAUGHTER) The typical trip for you, though, I mean what would it cost for a week? Bangkok? LEACH: It makes a hard man humble. You could do Bangkok on a very, you know, on a grandiose scale of under five thousand for a week. And what does that include? Hotel? Meals? LEACH: Yeah. Everything. LEACH: Not the . . . . . . Okay. LEACH: Not the air transportation. Then Bangkok you could also do much more inexpensively because they have very, very small hotels. And then, of course, if you wanted to go to any of special places that Bangkok is somewhat known for (LAUGHTER). Well that's kind of what I was gettin' at. LEACH: You were getting to the Thai massage. Uh huh. LEACH: Was that what you were getting to? Uh huh. Yeah. LEACH: The two or three girls on a rubber raft. Yeah. LEACH: And the swimming pool? Yeah. I go with that. (LAUGHTER) You can actually stay overnight there. LEACH: I'm told its quite reasonable . . . I would assume. (LAUGHTER) Well, and you could probably stay overnight at those places. LEACH: You can stay for as long as you wish. Oh, so like you just spend seven days there -- you don't even need a hotel room. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: That's one way to look at it. (LAUGHTER) All right. I'm gonna need your home phone number, Robin (LAUGHTER), after this is over. Okay. That was an awfully short segment, so let's get back to the movie. You ever need somebody to do, like, script continuity on your crew or something? LEACH: Are you offering? Location scout. I'll be your (LAUGHTER) location scout. Yes, Im offering. LEACH: You're too tall to go to some of the places we go to. Too tall. LEACH: Yes. Too tall to go to Bangkok? LEACH: No. Not too tall to go there, but there are other places where only the short make it. Really? (LAUGHTER) I don't even want to think about what you're talking about. LEACH: I don't want you to think about what I'm talking about. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #4 Well, that's a first. TNT is famous for holes in the dialogue where the cuss words should go, but I've never seen em bleep the subtitles before. And that scene where the dog jumps off the Eiffel Tower --that's obviously a reference back to the scene in the ORIGINAL "National Lampoon's Vacation" where they forget the dog is tied to the back of the station wagon and they kill the little guy. So this time you THINK the dog is gonna die, but then they go out of their way to show the dog swimming to safety in the river. I mean, why is everything so much SOFTER in this movie? Yeah, it's really not very good, and it was written by John Hughes, the guy who did "Breakfast Club" and all those famous movies in the eighties. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #5 So we KNOW that Audrey misses Jack. We got that. But you probly DON'T know that the guy who just played Fritz, the Bavarian relative, is the German comedy legend "Willy Millowitsch." And you know what cut-ups the Germans are. "Nehmen Sie meine Frau, bitte!" [Naymen-Zee miyna frow, bitta] You know what that means? "Take my wife, please." See, wasn't funny. Anyhow, it's getting crowded here at "Joe Bob's Summer School," we've got so many experts hanging out with us. Robin Leach, the world's most experienced tourist and traveller and . . . could I call you a libertine? AND Matty Simmons, producer of the National Lampoon movies, who for many years published and edited the funniest magazine in American history. Brian McConnachie--funny writer. That sequence where they rush through the Louvre. And then, of course, drinking out of the bedpan --that's always GREAT for laughs. You know what's different about this movie, Matty? There's no goal. In the first one, they had to get to Wally World, but in this one, they're just kinda . . . travelling. I'm sure Robin would agree with me. It's two against one. Did you tell John Hughes his script sucked for that reason? Okay, let's get back to the brilliantly conceived, but less than brilliantly executed, neverthless financially successful, "National Lampoon's European Vacation." Roll it. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #6 Okay, Matty, what's with the extended SHOPPING MONTAGE? The movie's almost OVER. And you're starting a Mafia subplot. What do you have to say for yourself? You know I'm moving to El Lay next week, Matty? I might be able to get you hooked up. As you may know, all our guest-lecturers get a book as a parting gift. We got you this one: it's called "Matador." I figured you could maybe make "National Lampoon's Spanish Vacation." Okay, we're gonna watch the conclusion to "National Lampoon's European Vacation," where we're finally gonna get some plot, believe it or not. So, roll it, and then we'll come back and talk some more to Robin Leach. [fading] Do you think of Chevy Chase as living out YOU on the screen, Matty? "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Outro We just had the entire plot of the movie in the last ten minutes, didn't we? Accompanied by a little late-movie cameo by Moon Unit Zappa as Rusty's girlfriend. I should point out that there was some in-fighting of how they were gonna end that flick. Chevy Chase wanted it to be him sitting in front of the fireplace saying, "It's good to be home." But Matty Simmons pointed out that they were making a COMEDY, and then HE came up with what I think is a pretty funny ending, which is that they're all relieved to be home, and a guy with a camera crew knocks on the door, saying, "You've just won a trip to the Great Wall of China!" And Chevy's really happy, and he turns to the rest of the family, and they're all glaring at him, so he says meekly to the guy, "What's second prize?" But Chevy Chase was so p.o.ed at Matty that he'd ix-nayed HIS idea, that Chevy then ix-nayed Matty's idea, and they had to go with Amy Heckerling, the director's idea, which was the Statue of Liberty thing we just saw. And what do you expect from the director of "Look Who's Talking Too," the only flick we've ever given ZERO stars? © 2000 Turner Network Television. 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