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Travel to Europe. European travel and tourism guide. Destination information. Travel Europe European travel and tourism destination guide. Home Destinations Europe Travel Guide Travel Directory Search Travel Directory Notes From the Editor Travel Blog Travel Photography Travel Photos Destination Guides • Africa • Asia • Europe • Latin America • Middle East • North America • Oceania TRAVEL EUROPE DESTINATION GUIDES Europe Destinations Directory. Find travel information for every country in Europe. Click on a country below to find official and independent websites for each country. Albania Andorra Armenia Austria Belarus Belgium Bosnia-Herzegovina Bulgaria Croatia Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Estonia Finland France Georgia Germany Greece Hungary Iceland Ireland Italy Latvia Liechtenstein Lithuania Luxembourg Macedonia Malta Moldova Monaco Netherlands Norway Poland Portugal Romania Russia San Marino Serbia and Montenegro Slovakia Slovenia Spain Sweden Switzerland Turkey Ukraine United Kingdom Vatican City ALL EUROPE SITES backpackeurope.com Backpack Europe bugeurope.com BUG Europe e-traveleurope.com Travel to Europe - Find information to travel in Europe. e-traveleurope.com eurfirst.com Planning your first trip to Europe, destinations, camping and driving in Europe, when and where to go, clothing and safety, family travel. Europe, the First Time europe-today.com Europe Today eurotrip.com Eurotrip guideforeurope.com Guide for Europe hotels-europe.com Travel Info. Hotels Europe Travel Info traveltowesterneurope.com Western Europe Travel - Search for books at TravelToWesternEurope.com. Travel To Western Europe tte.ch TTE Tourismus Team Europe. Tourismus Team Europe visiteurope.com Visit Europe Airfares | Car Rental | Hotels | Rail Europe | Travel Insurance Home | About us | Contact us | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Add a travel site

Taiwan travel! TripAdvisor SmartDeals

Cheap vacations to Taiwan - discount hotel + air deals - TripAdvisor Taiwan vacation discounts and deals Sign in • Sign up Home > Asia > Taiwan > SmartDeals > Vacation packages Taiwan tourism: Overview Hotels Flights Attractions Deals Forums Maps, etc. Discount hotels | Hotel + air deals | All travel offers Search (e.g., Boston hotels, Las Vegas, Paris art museum) Taiwan Taiwan Overview Taiwan Hotels Flights to Taiwan Taiwan Deals Discount hotels Hotel + air deals All travel offers Taiwan Attractions Taiwan Forums Taiwan Maps Taiwan Discount Hotels Taiwan Vacation Packages e-mail this page to a friend Taiwan vacation packages Acapulco vacation packages Alaska vacation packages Amsterdam vacation packages Anaheim vacation packages Arizona vacation packages Aruba vacation packages Aspen vacation packages Atlanta vacation packages Atlantic City vacation packages Bahamas vacation packages Barbados vacation packages Belgium vacation packages Bermuda vacation packages Boston vacation packages Branson vacation packages Breckenridge vacation packages British Virgin Islands vacation packages Cabo San Lucas vacation packages California vacation packages Canada vacation packages Cancun vacation packages Caribbean vacation packages Colorado vacation packages Costa del Sol vacation packages Cozumel vacation packages Dallas vacation packages Daytona Beach vacation packages Dominican Republic vacation packages Florida vacation packages Florida Keys vacation packages Fort Lauderdale vacation packages France vacation packages Germany vacation packages Grand Canyon National Park vacation packages Greece vacation packages Grenada vacation packages Hawaii vacation packages Hilton Head vacation packages Ibiza vacation packages Ireland vacation packages Italy vacation packages Ixtapa vacation packages Jamaica vacation packages Kauai vacation packages Key West vacation packages Lake Placid vacation packages Lake Tahoe vacation packages Las Vegas vacation packages London vacation packages Los Angeles vacation packages Los Cabos vacation packages Maui vacation packages Mazatlan vacation packages Melbourne vacation packages Mexico vacation packages Miami vacation packages Montreal vacation packages Myrtle Beach vacation packages Nashville vacation packages Nassau vacation packages New York vacation packages New York City vacation packages Niagara Falls vacation packages Nova Scotia vacation packages Oahu vacation packages Orlando vacation packages Paris vacation packages Park City vacation packages Philadelphia vacation packages Phoenix vacation packages Pigeon Forge vacation packages Puerto Rico vacation packages Puerto Vallarta vacation packages Punta Cana vacation packages Quebec City vacation packages Reno vacation packages Rome vacation packages Salt Lake City vacation packages San Antonio vacation packages San Diego vacation packages San Francisco vacation packages Santa Fe vacation packages Scotland vacation packages Seattle vacation packages Spain vacation packages St. Croix vacation packages St. Lucia vacation packages St. Maarten/St. Martin vacation packages St. Thomas vacation packages Sydney vacation packages Texas vacation packages Toronto vacation packages Tucson vacation packages U.S. Virgin Islands vacation packages Vail vacation packages Virginia Beach vacation packages Washington DC vacation packages Whistler vacation packages Read more Taiwan tourism Hotel + air deals to Taiwan * Choose a specific destination Select one of the following destinations within Taiwan: --choose-one-- Taipei Featured specials - December 28, 2005 China Tour Discounts www.cruiseshopping.com 10 years of China cruise and tour values from CruiseShopping.com Special Vacation Package www.atlantis.com Visit Atlantis, Paradise Island - a unique resort experience. China Discovery Tours www.ChinaDiscoveryTours.com Early Booking - Book a China tour by 12/3/05 & save up to $200/person Tickets to Taipei www.malaysiaairlinesusa.com Only Malaysia Airlines makes 5-star service to Taipei affordable China Special from $ 1155 www.pacificholidaysinc.com Beijing - Shanghai from LAX 7 Days / 6 Nights - Air & Land All-Inclusive Resorts www.resortvacationstogo.com Great rates on the all-inclusive resorts in Mexico and Caribbean. China Vacation www.Explorica.com Fun & Exciting Student Tours to Thailand, China & other Asia locals ChinaPlus Tours www.chinaplustour.com U.S. Based China Tour Specialist. Small groups & personalized service Hotels (12) B&Bs / Inns (0) Other lodging (0) Sorted by popularity hotel name Grand Hotel Taipei , Taipei Popularity index: #1 in Taipei based on 9 sources Grand Hotel Taipei : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Grand Hotel Taipei : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Les Suites Taipei-Ching.Cheng , Taipei Popularity index: #2 in Taipei based on 8 sources Les Suites Taipei-Ching.Cheng : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Les Suites Taipei-Ching.Cheng : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Far Eastern Plaza Hotel , Taipei Popularity index: #3 in Taipei based on 11 sources Far Eastern Plaza Hotel : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Far Eastern Plaza Hotel : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Les Suites Taipei Da-An , Taipei Popularity index: #4 in Taipei based on 7 sources Les Suites Taipei Da-An : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Les Suites Taipei Da-An : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Sheraton Taipei Hotel , Taipei Popularity index: #5 in Taipei based on 10 sources Sheraton Taipei Hotel : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Sheraton Taipei Hotel : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Imperial Hotel Taipei , Taipei Popularity index: #11 in Taipei based on 3 sources Imperial Hotel Taipei : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Imperial Hotel Taipei : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Landis Taipei Hotel , Taipei Popularity index: #12 in Taipei based on 3 sources Landis Taipei Hotel : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Landis Taipei Hotel : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel United Hotel , Taipei Popularity index: #18 in Taipei based on 4 sources United Hotel : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! United Hotel : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Riviera Hotel , Taipei Popularity index: #19 in Taipei based on 1 source Riviera Hotel : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Riviera Hotel : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Westin Taipei , Taipei Popularity index: #20 in Taipei based on 5 sources Westin Taipei : Save on this hotel + air Expedia Vacations Don't just travel. Travel right! Westin Taipei : Book Hotel + Air and Save hotels.com Vacations We Know Hotels Inside And Out. 1-800-764-6835 View all travel offers for this hotel Pages: 1 2 Read more about Taiwan travel! TripAdvisor SmartDeals are the best deals on the best hotels in Taiwan. Visit our SmartDeals page. TripAdvisor's Tourism page has the web's best articles on Taiwan travel . Our Taiwan hotels page presents hotels ranked by popularity - read traveler reviews and guidebooks. Looking for things to do in Taiwan? Try our Attractions page! Visit our Taiwan forums page to ask questions and get advice about Taiwan travel. TripAdvisor forums let you ask questions and get advice - post in our Taiwan forums . Our Maps, etc. page has maps and other travel information. Visit our Taiwan discount hotels page for great savings on Taiwan hotels, including TripAdvisor SmartDeals. Book a flight to Taiwan on our Flights page. To view all the specials, vacation packages, and other travel offers we've found, visit our All travel offers page. About TripAdvisor TripAdvisor lists cheap air + hotel deals to Taiwan, Asia. Recommendations for hotels, resorts, inns, vacations, travel packages, travel guides and lots more! Visit TripAdvisor in another language: About Us | Membership | Site Map | Become an Affiliate | Top Cities | Hotel Reservations | Hotel Deals | TripAdvisor Gear Popular Hotels: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 , 13 , 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 , by city TripAdvisor Recommends: Las Vegas hotels , London hotels , Paris hotels , Rome hotels , New York City hotels , Chicago hotels , Orlando hotels © 2005 TripAdvisor, Inc. All rights reserved. TripAdvisor Terms of Use and Privacy Policy . * TripAdvisor, Inc. is not a booking agent and does not charge any service fees to users of our site... ( more ) TripAdvisor, Inc. is not responsible for content on external web sites.

Cruise Vacation Planner Click

Mediterranean Cruises: Mediterranean Luxury Cruise Lines, Mediterranean Cruise Ships Mediterranean Cruise Vacations: Mediterranean Luxury Cruise Lines, Mediterranean Cruise Ships Site Index Romantic Mediterranean Weddings and Mediterranean Honeymoons Virtuoso Mediterranean Cruises, Vacations and Tour Consultants Mediterranean Luxury Vacations:Call 1 800 330 8820 to book. Open every day! Mediterranean Vacation Islands Balearic Islands Vacations Adriatic Islands Vacations Aegean Islands Vacations Crete Vacations Ionian Islands Vacations Saronic Gulf Vacations The Dodecanese Vacations The Cyclades Vacations The Sporades Vacations The Thracian Island Vacations Mediterranean Vacation Destinations Albania Algeria Amalfi Coast Vacations Corsica Corfu Island Vacations Croatia Vacations Cyprus Egypt Vacations France Vacations French Riviera Vacations Greece Vacations Ibiza Isle of Capri Vacations Israel Italy Vacations Jordan Lebanon Libya Mallorca Island Malta Monaco Vacations Morocco Vacations Slovinia Sardinia Vacations Sicily Vacations Spain Vacations Syria Tunisia Turkey Vacations The best available price is our starting point. Then we add value through complimentary excursions, amenities, or services. TravelWizard.com can get you a Mediterranean room, or suite, or villa you want, when others can't. We have tons of money saving specials: free nights, free meals, room upgrades, and wonderful inclusions such as free golf and spa visits. We have every airline to Mediterranean, so you can choose the airline you prefer. You get frequent flyer miles on most of them. We can get you discount first class, or business class Mediterranean tickets. You can book your Mediterranean activities ahead of time to assure peace of mind. How do we do it? Simple. We leverage our tremendous buying power! Email this page to a friend Bookmark this page Here you'll find the best of the best Mediterranean luxury hotels & resorts in the Mediterranean. Great Mediterranean luxury cruises . Fabulous Mediterranean yacht charters . Mediterranean small ship cruises . Mediterranean escorted luxury tour packages . France tours , Italy tours , Portugal & Spain Tours , Greece tours , Morocco tour packages , Middle East tours , Egypt tours , Turkey tour packages , Aegean discovery tour. Aegean classical tour. Cultural and historical tours of the Mediterranean Islands . Mediterranean Sea map --- The Mediterranean is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the world. Charming people, beautiful islands rich in history, and food to delight the most discerning. There are over 2000 islands in the Mediterranean to choose from. The Mediterranean is the world's largest inland sea. The Mediterranean connects with the Atlantic Ocean through the Strait of Gibraltar; with the Black Sea through the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmara, and the Bosporus; and with the Red Sea through the Suez Canal. Its chief divisions are the Tyrrhenian, Adriatic , Ionian Islands , and Aegean Islands ; its chief islands are Sicily Island , Sardinia , Corsica, Crete , Cyprus , Malta , Rhodes, The Dodecanese , the The Cyclades , The Sporades , The Thracian Islands the Balearic Islands of Ibiza Island , Mallorca Island , and the Ionian Islands . The Mediterranean's most popular destinations are the French Riviera , Italy's Amalfi Coast , the Isle of Capri , Portofino , and the City of Dubrovnik in Croatia. Why Should You Use our Virtuoso Mediterranean Luxury Travel and Cruise Specialists to plan your Vacation? We are Virtuoso, "Specialists in the Art of Travel". Described by Conde Nast Traveler as "one of the finest agencies...a reliable indicator of experience, knowledge, and industry clout." We are recommended by the Discovery Travel Channel, the Today Show, Conde Nast Traveler, Forbes Magazine, ESPN TV, Fine Living TV, Neiman Marcus Awards Program and National Geographic. Our Virtuoso Mediterranean Vacation Specialists offer exclusive insider connections and industry expertise on luxury vacations- along with the guidance and know-how you require to make educated travel choices. We are very innovative, add valuable solutions that consistently exceed our customers expectations and strive to always provide the ultimate travel experience. Travelwizard.com, a Virtuoso Member, was just picked by the NBC Today Show to orchestrate the perfect honeymoon destination for their " Throws a Wedding " show. We are very proud that the Today Show turned to Travelwizard.com to find the perfect honeymoon. Travelwizard.com's renowned South Pacific specialists designed the perfect honeymoon to Turtle Island, in Fiji that was chosen for the NBC Today Show. Have you ever dreamed of chartering a luxury yacht in the Mediterranenan with a professional crew and cruising to a beautiful Mediterranean island? We can make your Mediterranean dream come true. Whether your a first time yachtsman, or if this will be your first adventure on the blue sea, you'll find that the Mediterranean is one of the most popular places on earth for sailing, cruising, yachting, appreciating the diverse island cultures, stunning island beaches, and beautiful climate. There are dozens of Mediterranean cruises and windjammers to chooses from. We also have hundreds of spectacular private yacht charters available. The crystal clear blue seas of the Mediterranean have over 2000 islands, each inviting you to explore its unique beauty. Mediterranean cruises are fabulous vacations. There is such a diverse selection of Mediterranean Islands to choose from its hard to choose which island to try first. The birth of civilization was born in the Mediterranean Islands, and cultural excursions are extremely popular in the islands. If you enjoy rich history, you will love the Mediterranean Islands. Scuba diving in the Mediterranean Islands is unique, being the cradle of civilization the bottom is littered with historical artifacts. Some of the world's most exotic, romantic resorts await your visit. They have spectacular spas, scuba diving, historical tours---you name it, the Mediterranean is one of the best places to choose your vacation. Overwhelmed by all the Mediterranean choices? Don't worry, let us orchestrate your dream vacation. Our Virtuoso--- Mediterranean Travel and Cruise Consultants are experts in every intimate detail regarding your vacation request---just click on our, "Mediterranean Vacation Planner" at the top of this page and we will be happy to assist you at no extra charge. Book Your Mediterranean Vacation Submit a vacation planner to our Mediterranean Vacation Specialists Client Testimonials about our services Search Your Vacation, Tour or Cruise Mediterranean Accommodations Europe Luxury Hotels & Resorts Europe Hotels and Villas Luxury Hotels of the World Luxury Resort of the World Luxury Villas & Homes Mediterranean Luxury Tours Crystal Cruises Mediterranean Dalmatian Coast Exploration Treasures of the Aegean Hidden Gems of Europe Highlights of France Southern France to Paris Treasures of the Mediterranean A Week In... the Mediterranean Treasures of the Aegean Route of the Old Wine Traders Mediterranean Economical Tours Mediterranean Splendor Cruise Spain, Portugal & Morocco Moroccan Adventure The Best of Italy & Greece Classical Greece Aegean Discovery Aegean Classical The Golden Fleece Grand Mediterranean Cruise West Mediterranean Cruise Grand Tour of the Balkans Grand Tour of Egypt Egyptian Splendor Turkish Delight Mediterranean Yachting Mediterranean Vacation Specials Virtuoso Europe Cruise and Resort Specials Imagine the romantic luxury vacation setting of your dreams. A Mediterranean beach. Think of the love of your life beside you. Then imagine a carefree Mediterranean vacation with all the details taken care of by our competent staff. Travel Wizard.com, specializes in romantic Mediterranean getaways. We know all the most romantic places in the Mediterranean to put you in a private paradise on your own. Email this page to a friend Bookmark this page Full Service Mediterranean Vacation Planner Click here to save money, time and stress planning, making reservations, or booking your Mediterranean vacation with our full service Virtuoso Mediterranean Vacation Specialists . We are recommended, authorized Virtuoso Mediterranean Vacation Specialists, and can arrange every little detail to make sure you have a wonderful, carefree experience at no extra charge! You may call our Virtuoso Mediterranean Vacation Specialists, but first, we'd really appreciate it if you complete our "Luxury Vacation Planner" so we have all your requirements beforehand and are prepared to present you with all your options and up-to-the-minute specials. Thank you very much! Call 1- 800 -330 -8820 to book your Mediterranean vacation . Full Service, Mediterranean Tour Vacation Planner Click here to save money, time and stress planning, making reservations, or booking your Mediterranean luxury tour vacation with our full service Virtuoso Luxury Tour Consultants. We can arrange every little detail of your tour vacation, including air, and pre-tour and post-tour arrangements to make sure you have a wonderful, carefree Mediterranean tour vacation experience at no extra charge! When you complete our "Luxury Tour Vacation Planner" our Virtuoso--Mediterranean Vacation Specialists will promptly call you, provide you with their direct toll free telephone number, all your options, and up-to-the-minute specials . Call 1- 800 -330 -8820 to book your Mediterranean luxury tour vacation . Full Service, Mediterranean Luxury Cruise Vacation Planner Click here to save money, time and stress planning, making reservations, or booking your Mediterranean luxury cruise vacation with our full service Virtuoso Luxury Cruise Consultants. We can arrange every little detail of your Mediterranean cruise vacation, including air, excursions, and pre-cruise and post-cruise arrangements, to make sure you have a wonderful, carefree vacation experience at no extra charge! When you complete our " Luxury Cruise Vacation Planner" our Virtuoso--Mediterranean Cruise Specialists will promptly call you, provide you with their direct toll free telephone number, all your options, and up-to-the-minute specials . Call 1- 800 -330 -8820 to book your Mediterranean luxury cruise . 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Germany Travel > Pictures

Pictures of Germany - Germany Travel Photos and Landscape Pictures  You are here: About > Travel > Europe for Visitors > Germany Austria Switzerland > Germany Travel > Pictures of Germany Travel Go Europe Essentials European Vacation Planning Map Europe Travel 101 - Before you Go European Distances The Best of Europe European Photo Gallery Articles & Resources Europe Travel Planning What to do In Europe Lodging - Hotels and More European Travel Maps Sex and Nudism Travel Photography Transportation Benelux Countries France Germany Austria Switzerland Greece Italy and Malta Travel Info Scandinavian Travel Spain and Portugal United Kingdom and Ireland Buyer's Guide Before You Buy Top Picks Italy Travel Guidebooks Europe Travel Guidebooks German Travel Guidebooks Product Reviews Forums Help FREE Newsletter Sign Up Now for the Europe for Visitors newsletter! See Online Courses   Search Europe for Visitors Pictures of Germany - Germany Travel Photos and Landscape Pictures Here are pictures of Germany's best tourist destinations. Germany is popular with tourists, and sometimes choosing your destination by pictures is a reasonable way to decide where to go in Germany. Articles & Resources Sort By : Guide Picks | Alphabetical | Recent Up a category Cologne Cathedral Picture Cologne's Cathedral is immense, and stands close to Cologne's central train station. Cologne Germany Pictures Cologne Germany Pictures - A gallery of pictures making up a virtual tour of Cologne. Get the sense of the city from these pictures. Dachau Memorial Concentration Camp Pictures Somber reminder of the attrocities committed in Nazi Germany. (8 pictures) Dinkelsbuhl Pictures Dinkelsbuhl is one of my favorite romantic road destinations, featuring an intact wall with towers, lots of artists and craft shops, half-timbered houses and more. Take a virtual tour with our pictures. Heidelberg Pictures Pictures of Heidelberg, a very pleasant tourist destination on Germany's Castle road. 5 more Articles & Resources below Articles & Resources more from your guide Leipzig Pictures Leipzig has a great many attractions for the tourist, including a three-level train station with lots of shopping opportunities. (12 pictures) Nuremberg Germany Pictures - Oriel Windows Know what an oriel window is? Nuremberg has many. Nuremberg Pictures Nuremberg, the second largest city in Bavaria, has a lot to offer the tourist. (12 pictures) Rothenburg Pictures Pictures of Rothenburg, Rick Steves' favorite city along Germany's Romantic Road. Schwabisch Hall Pictures Pictures of Schwabisch Hall, a village along Germany's Castle Road, that is one of the most asthetically pleasing towns in southern Germany. (10 pictures)        Topic Index | Email to a Friend Our Story | Be a Guide | Advertising Info | Work at About | Site Map | Icons | Help User Agreement | Ethics Policy | Patent Info. | Privacy Policy | Kids' Privacy Policy ©2005 About, Inc., A part of the New York Times Company . All rights reserved. Around About New Video iPod - Review POLL: Must-Have Gadgets VIDEO: Portable Gaming VIDEO: Choosing a TV Hugh Hefner's Life What's Hot Power Adapters Noord-Holland - Delights of North Holland Travel Visiting Pompeii Italy Guidebooks Naples - Getting There Headlines Antwerp Pictures Antwerp is a fashion and diamond center for Belgium and... Like to Travel Well? Follow the CIA! I really should have paid attention when the CIA came... Tapas from Cans? Ok, so you wander into one of Barcelona's most celebrated... North Holland: Noah's Ark Redux A pious north Holland businessman took out a 300 000...

European Vacation," was just

feature National Lampoon's European Vacation "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Intro Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy. I'm Professor Joe Bob, and tonight's class is Recreational Geography 207, where we find out whether our first movie, "National Lampoon's European Vacation," was just a good excuse for the stars to go to Europe -- and we can DO that, because we have not only the producer, Matty Simmons, as one of our guest lecturers, but we have the world's most famous expert on travelling all over the world without paying anybody for anything, the one and only Robin Leach. He'll stay with us for this movie and maybe our second one, too, Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in "The Great Outdoors." Now. Speaking of vacations, I want you to remember the one cardinal rule of all professional vacation-goers. [writes on blackboard] "Do Not Structure Your Damn Time." Do you understand what I'm saying here? For example, I have this friend Larry who's as rich as a sitcom star, and so every year at this time he takes one of those European cruises where you drink champagne every night and listen to bad cabaret acts and occasionally get off the boat to look at some Madonnas or sit at a seaside cafe with red-checkered tablecloths where you can guzzle the local vino for thirty bucks a pop. And they have all kinds of "programs" and "seminars" and "athletic activities" on board, so you can learn how to be a real-estate agent or a professional shuffleboard coach or find out who Marcel Proust was. Now here's the interesting part. On his daily schedule of all the "programs" and "seminars" and "cultural activities," there's always a place marked "Free Time." Like there's time that costs money, and then there's FREE TIME. But, no, that can't be what it means, because it ALL costs money on a cruise, whether you CALL it free or not. So what they mean is, there's PRISON time and then there's FREE time. This is when the guy's ON VACATION! This is when he's in the one place in the world where ALL the time is supposed to be free! What's wrong here? When I was a kid, I'd go to these science fairs where they had "labor-saving inventions of the future," and we were all supposed to be working twenty-hour weeks by now. But what happened? We invented all these labor-saving devices, everything got faster, and we have two-thirds LESS "Free Time" than we had twenty years ago. You know why? Because of guys like Larry who CAN'T STAND IT. They go on vacation and they're faced with this endless stretch of "Free Time," and they start to go crazy with guilt and nervousness. There's some great Yuppie Devil God in their gut crying out, "You could have done SEVENTY HOURS of work in the time you spent hanging around the Parthenon and chucking rocks in the Aegean. Your life is MEANINGLESS." And so they have "Free Time." They work just as much as they do when they're back home -- they're getting an education, or they're becoming culturally enlightened, or they're IMPROVING themselves -- and then, after they've done that, they can just barely face that agonizing hour of "Free Time." They can suck down a couple martinis without guilt, though, because they've just read part of a book about Giotto. They can USE that Giotto someday. They'll be talking to that West Coast sales rep who's into European art, and they can just casually mention that magic word -- "Giotto" -- and pretty soon they'll be bosom buddies for life. But tonight we're gonna teach you how to vacation right, by watching "National Lampoon's European Vacation," the follow-up to the comedy classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." "European Vacation" picks up as the Griswalds accidentally win a gameshow and embark on their first trip overseas, where they run people over, trash national monuments and make a general nuisance of themselves. Check it out, and we'll have Robin Leach popping out here to join us. [fading] Robin's gonna be slumming. Instead of doing "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," he'll be doing "Lifestyles of the Hard-Up and Obscure." "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #1 See, isn't this movie helpful as a travel tool? When planning your European vacation, just beat Paul Bartel and his family on "Pig in the Poke"! You know what's NOT a good sign, though? FOUR dream sequences, and the movie's barely 20 minutes old. Okay, let's not dwell on that, because it's time to welcome our first guest-lecturer of the evening, world-traveler extraordinaire, a guy who has been every place via every mode of transportation. The one and only Robin Leach. LEACH: How're you doing? Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School. And all right, so here we are. LEACH: Only two places in the world I haven't been to. Really. What are they? LEACH: I haven't been to Burma, which is now called Myanmar and I haven't been to Papua New Guinea, where in some parts there's still cannibalism practiced. Really? LEACH: I don't want to wind up . . . You won't go there even to sample the cuisine? (LAUGHTER) All right, so here we are watching a movie about a European vacation. I would suppose that you have taken a vacation in Europe so many times that, well, let me ask it this way. The Griswalds -- they just checked into this worst hotel in London. LEACH: The worst. The worst. Have you ever gone out to do like a journalistic piece as part of one of your shows and ended up in some roach-infested nightmare? LEACH: No. It never happens. LEACH: I tell you the only thing that was really surprising to me in all my travels was in Cuba, where I went into a bedroom and I was the only person in the bedroom. But there were eight single beds in the bedroom. I wondered who the other seven friends (LAUGHTER) were going to be for the night. And who showed up? LEACH: No, fortunately nobody. Not even cigar farmers. So that was all right. Or unfortunate. All right. Have you ever . . . LEACH:. . . And the bed I was given was the furthest from the phone. That I never understood. (LAUGHTER) What, you couldn't switch beds? That was against the rules? LEACH: No they wouldnt let me switch beds. Against the rules. Have you ever paid for anything Robin? (LAUGHTER) LEACH: Is that the traditional Joe Freeload question? (LAUGHTER) Of course we've paid as we've gone around the world. Weve done it at a travel agent discount but no, we pay. We have to -- that's the law. Oh, even at the hotels . . . LEACH: Yes. that you're featuring in a show. LEACH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pay. Favorite destination in Europe? LEACH: In Europe, again it would be Italy. Italy? LEACH: Just like the Griswalds wind up there, the most spectacular country is Italy. And so after all your travels, its still good ol' Italy -- probably one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. LEACH: Because they know how to live, those people. They have such a great lust for life. You know, they drink wine. They smoke cigars. They eat pasta. They don't care about anything other than . . . No smoking sections in a restaurant. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: No. None of that stuff. LEACH: This is the la bon vie, as they say in France. Of course most of our audience can only dream about places like that 'cause right now they're planning their trips to Six Flags over Bakersfield. (LAUGHTER) But you probably do those kinds of trips too. Ever do, like, low budget trips? Have you ever done that? LEACH: No. Never. (LAUGHTER) You've never been. LEACH: I dont, I dont . . . Youve probably never been to Six Flags have you? LEACH: Yes, in Dallas. You were there? Okay, the original Six Flags over Texas in Arlington. You went there? LEACH: Yes. How did you like it? LEACH: The roller coaster was great. And I went to the Six Flags in New Jersey with Bob Pittman, who used to run it, and on the Batman and Robin ride. What else would I go on? You've experienced it. But I doubt if you stayed at the Six Flags Inn across the street, did you? LEACH: No. And Motel Six is a strange name to me. (LAUGHTER) All right. Let's return to National Lampoons European Vacation and -- roll the film -- and then we'll talk some more at the next break. By the way, Robin. My eagle eye picked up Playboy Playmate of the Month for 1984 Tricia Lang as the game show hostess at the beginning of the movie. Now, did you ever do any Playmates on Lifestyles? That didn't come out right. Did you ever have any Playmates as Lifestyles guests? LEACH: I want you to try that even one more time. (LAUGHTER) No, but we did feature Hugh Heffner up at The Mansion, so a lot of the attractive, ah, decorations were hanging around. (LAUGHTER) So you went to the king? LEACH: Well, yeah, or the king came to the mountain. I don't know what that is but yeah, it was -- that's a palace. Palace of pleasure. Okay. I can imagine. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #2 I don't mean any disrespect to the late Dana Hill, but she doesn't really seem right for this part. I think it would've worked better with that kinda laid-back prettiness of the original Audrey, Dana Barron. Hey, Robin, did I tell you I'm moving to El Lay? LEACH: No. You like El Lay don't you? LEACH: Yeah. It's one of your favorite places. Can you introduce me to some girls? LEACH: Ah, probably. Okay Robin. LEACH: You won't have a tough time handsome, tall, talented host. (LAUGHTER) Don't bet on that, Robin. Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty all right? What are the best party towns in the world? Where can you go if you just really want to tear it up? LEACH: New York is the greatest party town in the world. Really? Right here in the USA. LEACH: Then the nightlife of Paris. Okay. Paris. That's a big one. LEACH: It used to be a great nightlife in Rome, but not so much any more since La Dolce Vita quieted down. Monte Carlo is also good during the summertime in San Tropez. And of course, in America, we have Las Vegas, which is the party city of the entire world. I need to start writing these down. Where can you go if you just want to tear it up and you don't want anybody in your immediate family to know what you did while you were there? LEACH: About four thousand miles away. Four thousand miles away . . . LEACH: Get four thousand away from the nearest family member. (LAUGHING) Yeah. And what, you findwhat city would that be? LEACH: It could be any city. You can have fun and games in any city of the world. Okay. But you know are there some that are kind of like special in, you know, special cities for like that dark, naughty side? LEACH: Paris. Paris is the best? LEACH: I would think so. Okay. LEACH: As you see in this movie when the Griswalds go off to the nightclub, they even find their own child in the Crazy Horse. Right. Well now, see, one reason I trust you, Robin -- even before you were world famous, I would have trusted you because you're English. And I trust the English guys on any kind of issue like this about nightlife, because, well But one thing I do, I make it a rule to never drink with English guys or at least try to drink as much as they drink. (LAUGHTER) Because now we -- now listen, hear me out. Wouldn't you agree, Robin, your countrymen do know how to put away cocktails? (LAUGHTER). And you will drink 37 different kinds of cocktails at dinner and sweet ones and everything and then at two in the morning somebody'll say, But we haven't had an after-dinner liqueur yet! The English like many many, many different kinds. Would you say this is true? LEACH: I would say that's true. Okay. (LAUGHTER) Well, all right, all right. Well keep working on that party list as we return to National Lampoon's European Vacation. Roll it. You know, the trouble with going to those kinds of places is that you can't remember 'em when you get home 'cause somebody told me that. . . LEACH:. . . they don't wish to remember them. Well maybe that's good 'cause . . . ROBIN:. . . explains why there is heavy drinking. I know, I know, 'cause somebody told me one time that they spent three days with me at Mardi Gras in 1985. I don't even remember even going there. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: We've forgot New Orleans. Yeah. Oh. LEACH: The greatest of them all. That's on the list. And it's naughty isn't it? LEACH: I don't how you define that. Oh, ho. Come on, okay? LEACH: There's no such thing as naughty. Oh, okay then I do understand you. (LAUGHTER) The whole list was naughty. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #3 And Chevy Chase takes his famous pratfalls to the extreme and knocks down Stonehenge. Ha ha ha. Lot of the gags in this movie don't really work, do they? LEACH: No, it was the model that didn't work in the movie. That's true. It was kind of cheesy wasn't it? LEACH: Did you notice that as well? Yes, I. . . LEACH: That's a lot of damage for a small English car to do that hardly backed up in reverse. Yes. Okay, Robin, now we're in Paris. First thing . . . LEACH:. . . ooo la la . . . Yes, we were just talking about Paris. Now, first thing that comes to your mind well, first of all, best hotel in Paris? LEACH: Oh, the Ritz. Best restaurant in Paris? LEACH: Um, boy. Well, Taurus would say Maxims, but it would be the new Alain Ducasse restaurant in Paris. Alain Ducasse. Alain Ducasse. Okay. Best place to see naked French girls? LEACH: Ah I would say, go to the Crazy Horse. Really? Still, after all these years . . . LEACH: They change the show every three months so . . . Okay. LEACH: They change the girls every three years. All right. I want to talk about Thailand. LEACH: My favorite country in all the world. Really? LEACH: Yeah. I love Thailand. Is Thailand really all its cracked up to be? You hear so many people . . . LEACH: Nicest people in the world. Yeah. LEACH: The most incredible food. Yeah. LEACH: Wonderful countryside. Wonderful Asian culture. How much does it cost? LEACH: You can get there quite inexpensively. Yeah. LEACH: Depends how you want to do it. If you want to go on a private, you know, G-5, it'll cost a lot of money. But if you want to go as baggage on a boat, it'll cost very little. Yeah (LAUGHTER) but you would never go as baggage on a boat, I mean LEACH: . . . I've only heard about doing those things. (LAUGHTER) The typical trip for you, though, I mean what would it cost for a week? Bangkok? LEACH: It makes a hard man humble. You could do Bangkok on a very, you know, on a grandiose scale of under five thousand for a week. And what does that include? Hotel? Meals? LEACH: Yeah. Everything. LEACH: Not the . . . . . . Okay. LEACH: Not the air transportation. Then Bangkok you could also do much more inexpensively because they have very, very small hotels. And then, of course, if you wanted to go to any of special places that Bangkok is somewhat known for (LAUGHTER). Well that's kind of what I was gettin' at. LEACH: You were getting to the Thai massage. Uh huh. LEACH: Was that what you were getting to? Uh huh. Yeah. LEACH: The two or three girls on a rubber raft. Yeah. LEACH: And the swimming pool? Yeah. I go with that. (LAUGHTER) You can actually stay overnight there. LEACH: I'm told its quite reasonable . . . I would assume. (LAUGHTER) Well, and you could probably stay overnight at those places. LEACH: You can stay for as long as you wish. Oh, so like you just spend seven days there -- you don't even need a hotel room. (LAUGHTER) LEACH: That's one way to look at it. (LAUGHTER) All right. I'm gonna need your home phone number, Robin (LAUGHTER), after this is over. Okay. That was an awfully short segment, so let's get back to the movie. You ever need somebody to do, like, script continuity on your crew or something? LEACH: Are you offering? Location scout. I'll be your (LAUGHTER) location scout. Yes, Im offering. LEACH: You're too tall to go to some of the places we go to. Too tall. LEACH: Yes. Too tall to go to Bangkok? LEACH: No. Not too tall to go there, but there are other places where only the short make it. Really? (LAUGHTER) I don't even want to think about what you're talking about. LEACH: I don't want you to think about what I'm talking about. (LAUGHTER) "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #4 Well, that's a first. TNT is famous for holes in the dialogue where the cuss words should go, but I've never seen em bleep the subtitles before. And that scene where the dog jumps off the Eiffel Tower --that's obviously a reference back to the scene in the ORIGINAL "National Lampoon's Vacation" where they forget the dog is tied to the back of the station wagon and they kill the little guy. So this time you THINK the dog is gonna die, but then they go out of their way to show the dog swimming to safety in the river. I mean, why is everything so much SOFTER in this movie? Yeah, it's really not very good, and it was written by John Hughes, the guy who did "Breakfast Club" and all those famous movies in the eighties. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #5 So we KNOW that Audrey misses Jack. We got that. But you probly DON'T know that the guy who just played Fritz, the Bavarian relative, is the German comedy legend "Willy Millowitsch." And you know what cut-ups the Germans are. "Nehmen Sie meine Frau, bitte!" [Naymen-Zee miyna frow, bitta] You know what that means? "Take my wife, please." See, wasn't funny. Anyhow, it's getting crowded here at "Joe Bob's Summer School," we've got so many experts hanging out with us. Robin Leach, the world's most experienced tourist and traveller and . . . could I call you a libertine? AND Matty Simmons, producer of the National Lampoon movies, who for many years published and edited the funniest magazine in American history. Brian McConnachie--funny writer. That sequence where they rush through the Louvre. And then, of course, drinking out of the bedpan --that's always GREAT for laughs. You know what's different about this movie, Matty? There's no goal. In the first one, they had to get to Wally World, but in this one, they're just kinda . . . travelling. I'm sure Robin would agree with me. It's two against one. Did you tell John Hughes his script sucked for that reason? Okay, let's get back to the brilliantly conceived, but less than brilliantly executed, neverthless financially successful, "National Lampoon's European Vacation." Roll it. "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Commercial Break #6 Okay, Matty, what's with the extended SHOPPING MONTAGE? The movie's almost OVER. And you're starting a Mafia subplot. What do you have to say for yourself? You know I'm moving to El Lay next week, Matty? I might be able to get you hooked up. As you may know, all our guest-lecturers get a book as a parting gift. We got you this one: it's called "Matador." I figured you could maybe make "National Lampoon's Spanish Vacation." Okay, we're gonna watch the conclusion to "National Lampoon's European Vacation," where we're finally gonna get some plot, believe it or not. So, roll it, and then we'll come back and talk some more to Robin Leach. [fading] Do you think of Chevy Chase as living out YOU on the screen, Matty? "NATIONAL LAMPOONS EUROPEAN VACATION Outro We just had the entire plot of the movie in the last ten minutes, didn't we? Accompanied by a little late-movie cameo by Moon Unit Zappa as Rusty's girlfriend. I should point out that there was some in-fighting of how they were gonna end that flick. Chevy Chase wanted it to be him sitting in front of the fireplace saying, "It's good to be home." But Matty Simmons pointed out that they were making a COMEDY, and then HE came up with what I think is a pretty funny ending, which is that they're all relieved to be home, and a guy with a camera crew knocks on the door, saying, "You've just won a trip to the Great Wall of China!" And Chevy's really happy, and he turns to the rest of the family, and they're all glaring at him, so he says meekly to the guy, "What's second prize?" But Chevy Chase was so p.o.ed at Matty that he'd ix-nayed HIS idea, that Chevy then ix-nayed Matty's idea, and they had to go with Amy Heckerling, the director's idea, which was the Statue of Liberty thing we just saw. And what do you expect from the director of "Look Who's Talking Too," the only flick we've ever given ZERO stars? © 2000 Turner Network Television. 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